The Journal [boyxboy]

The Journal {8}

                I made it out of the boiler room just as the bell exploded. The hallway quickly crowded with kids making their way to their next classes.

                Kids ran into me as I tried to make my way down the hallway, sending me stumbling back. I ignored them as they snapped at me to watch where I was going, even though they were the ones who had hit me.

                The late bell rang as I finally made it to the cafeteria. I stepped inside and my eyes shot to the table I usually sat at with Matt.

                Matt wasn’t there, though. I looked over to the table Caleb sat at. His friends were there, but he and Matt weren’t.

                Feeling frustrated, I left the cafeteria and went down the senior hallway in search of Matt. I saw no sign of him anywhere, though.

                I then proceeded to check the bathrooms, the locker room, and even the pavilion outside. Matt wasn’t anywhere though.

                I went back to the cafeteria and sat at our usual table, deciding to just wait for him. He had to show up at some point.

                “Emerson?”

                I twisted in my seat. “Oh. Hi Emi,” I said.

                Emi walked over and sat down across from me, frowning. “Why the sad face? Where’s Matt?”

                Emi was my only other friend besides Matt. She and I had been neighbors when we were little, and even after we had both moved away, we had continued to be close friends.

                “I don’t know. Have you seen him at all today? I haven’t been able to find him since fourth period,” I said.

                “Sorry Emerson, but I just got to school a few minutes ago. I had a dentist appointment this morning, which is why I haven’t been here. How are things between you and Matt going?” she asked.

                Not wanting her to see the hurt and depression in my eyes, I dropped my gaze and shrugged. “There hasn’t really been a change.”

                She reached over and gripped my chin, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “Did something happen between you guys today? And don’t lie to me,” she said sternly.

                “I was looking for him to break up with him,” I said, pushing her hand away from me.

                “What? Why?” she cried.

                “Because Caleb attacked me during study hall, and Matt just watched!” I snapped, feeling myself start to tremble. “It was the second time today that he hit me! And the first time that he did, Matt just laughed! I feel like I don’t even know Matt anymore. He could be a little insensitive sometimes, but it was never this bad. I can’t deal with it anymore, Emi. So if I could fucking find him already, I could end our relationship.”

                She got up, and for a minute, I thought she was going to leave without saying anything to me. But instead, she grabbed my hand and forced me to stand up too. She pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly.

                “I’m so sorry Emerson. I knew things were getting bad, but I hadn’t realized that they were getting this bad,” she said quietly.

                I hugged her back. “I hate it,” I choked out. “I love him, but he’s just hurting me too much for me to stay with him. He gets mad at me when I try to talk to him about what’s been happening. And then he just lets Caleb do whatever the hell he wants to me.”