You're My Mate.

The Nightmare.

Chapter 19:

Damian's POV:

After our argument I went for a long hunt to calm myself down, hunts make me forget about all the bad things. I love Amber, I can't lose her but if she gives the babies up...no I wouldn't be able to break the mate bond, I've been in love with her for years and I always will be. If she thinks giving them up for adoption is the best idea then I will stick by her side the whole time. Yes, I do not agree with the adoption but I can't lose Amber. I feel terrible for being a complete jerk back there to her. She's going through a lot and I was horrible.

I don't know what she's going through and every thought inside her head. I can't believe I made my own mate upset, I hate myself. I'll apologise as soon as I get home, tell her that I stick by her decision and that I love her more than anything. Devon and Paul come over to me in their wolf forms and we turn all back to our human forms.

"Damian, what's after happening?" Paul asks.

"So much shit," I say miserably. I look down at the ground, I can't look them in the eye because I know I'll cry any second now, I'm such a fucking pussy. "She doesn't want the babies."

"Babies...?" Paul asks with surprise.

"It's twins," Devon smiles as he tells him.

"Oh my god, congratulations man!" Paul grins. Their smiles turn into frowns when they look back at me. "What do you mean she doesn't want them?"

"She's not ready, she's giving them up for adoption," I weep.

"She's already made the decision?!" Devon asks softly with alarm. I nod, I couldn't speak. I felt like a right idiot about to cry in front of them. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I let it all out. She doesn't understand or realise how much she is hurting me with this decision. I know she's going through a lot, probably a lot more than me but I can't know for the rest of my life that someone else has my children. I can't miss their first words, crawl, steps, laugh, smile, walk, run, cycle, birthdays, the first time they say Dada and Mama, I can't miss all these precious moments.

I know people don't see me as the father type but I've loved kids since forever. Maybe it was because my childhood was ruined at a young age and I want to go back to then to get it back so I play with kids. I guess it makes me feel like a kid again and reminds me all that I missed. I don't want our children to miss out on those things too like me. I'm looking forward to being a Dad and holding them, looking after them and watching them grow up. I'm so happy and what makes me even happier is that I'm having two babies with the girl I love and want to be with the rest of my life.

She is perfect to me in every way and I would never want to hurt her. I want to look after her, get married to her, have kids with her, grow old with her. All these things are our future, well I thought they were. But I ruined it by getting mad today and storming off. She's going to want to leave me now and mate with someone else. I need to let her know how I feel. We need to talk about this, both of us tell each other how we feel.

"We're really sorry, Damian," Paul and Devon say in unison as they pat my back.

"Just forget about me, I was a like a total dumbass who thought everything would go okay and was oblivious to everything else falling around me. I knew Amber was upset but I thought she was happy again, she looked happy for the past week."

"You're not a dumbass, Damian. I thought she was happy too," Devon agrees. "It was probably just the thought of another baby that put her off the idea of motherhood. She'll come around, I know she will, she won't give up her own babies."

"What if she really does give them up," I moan.

"She won't do that, I've known her for 13 years and know for a fact she loves kids. We've all known her our entire lives and we know she wants kids, she's amazing with them. Yes, she may feel it's too early to be having a baby, especially two but she'll change her mind," Paul assures me.