A&D - One Shots

I miss you

This one shot deals with depression, suicidal thoughts and suicide.
If you feel triggered by any of the things listed above you shouldn't read this chapter.
Thanks for your attention and for the people reading this: Enjoy!

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It's been a year. The media is still talking about us...about you.
I've never been the same since. Lisa is worried about me, always calls me...but I just ignore it.
I don't leave the house anymore. Every week my mum drops off food at the door. That's the only time I really get outside. Not that I really eat anything anyway.
I still remember the week where it happened. The last day is burnt into my memory..it won't let me sleep at night.

- Flashback -

It's been our day off and we decided that we'd meet up for dinner. It was really excited, after all it was our two years anniversary.
But when I rang your doorbell...you don't open. Luckily I had an extra key. I thought of nothing bad when I walked into your house. I was 15 minutes early.
It felt strangely cold in your house that day.
I heard the water running and was about to sit down on your sofa, when suddenly heard and a groan.
Of course I immediately ran to your bathroom, opening the door. The water was running into the already red bath.

"Dec!"
I cried out, running over to you, already panicking.
I quickly pulled you out, to reveal two massive cuts on your wrists.
I ripped up my shirt to have something to bind your arms with. While doing that I rang 112 getting through immediately.

"My friend tried to kill himself! He cut his wrists! I need help!"
I screamed, not letting the person on the other end any time to start talking.
She replied calmly asking for my address. She told me they should be there in just a few minutes.

While I waited I checked your pulse over and over. It was getting weaker, but you were still alive.
I heard people running up the steps and almost everything was a big blur.

The next thing I remember was me, waiting outside your room and the doctor coming up to me, telling me how bad your situation was.
I was allowed to go in and raced to your side.

"Dec? Are you awake?"
I asked, choking back my tears. You nodded, smiling lightly.

"I love you, Ant. You always were my best friend, you know.."
I got out a little, velvet box and opened it.

"You know...I was..planning to propose to you today, Decky.."
"I bet it would've been beautiful..."
Don't say that! You're going to be fine! ..I love you, Declan!"
"I...love...you too..., Anthony.."
The steady beeping in the background suddenly turned into one single tone.
Doctors rushed past me, shoving me out of the room.
I waited outside for two hours until another doctor opened the door.
His eyes were full of bad news, and I knew.

In that moment I knew that nothing was going to be fine. You weren't going to step out of that door, smiling at me, with your bright eyes.
They let me in, one last time. You were pale. I broke down, hugging your lifeless body, kissing your cold lips as if it'd bring you back.

- End -

And now...now I just sit in your old home, alone. Looking at everything that painfully reminds me of you.
I'm always wearing the wedding ring, that was meant for you that day.
Every night I fall asleep, crying, only to wake up again, thinking about your last words to me.

I can't live like this anymore. Without you, silently suffering, with the pain of thinking of your warm hugs.

I went to the bathroom, getting the sleeping pills out of the cabinet. I can't live without my sunshine.
Chucking the whole bottle, before laying down on your bed, closing my eyes.
I wrote a note a day before similar to yours.
I can't wait to see you again, you know?
I love you, Dec.
Goodbye.

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~650 words