Chapter 5

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"Alright, Rue! You look so cute!" Sariah says, for the fourth or fifth time. She nervously smooths my shirt and fluffs my short hair.

"You need to look cute and girlish, so wave, look happy, and be cute! Sponsors will be lined up around the block for you!" Cenia says, glancing around nervously. She turns to Alex, Thresh's mentor and whispers to him.

But why is my mentor so nervous? Nothing seems to shake her, until now. I follow her gaze, and she seems to be glancing at the District 12 tributes. They stand with their stylists in black jumpsuits, speaking urgently with each other.

Cenia and Sariah grab my arms and lead me to the chariot, boosting me up.

"Big smiles!" Alex says. I smile brightly, and Thresh tries for a smile, but immediately lowers his lips. It almost makes me laugh.

The anthem booms through the stables, and the chariots begin moving. First District 1, then 2, and so on. We'll be second to last, to loop around the City Center, and have our first interactions with the crowds.

Quickly, our chariot begins to move. I don't hear the crowd, just a slight ringing in my ears. But I can see them cheering, screaming for us.

The noise intensifies and the ringing is gone, and I hear them beginning to chant:

"Katniss, Katniss, Katniss!" 

Who are they cheering for? I can't figure it out until I see the screens. Who I assume is Katniss and her District 12 counterpart are riding behind us, their outfits on fire. I gasp, but the crowd drowns it out.

All the other tributes seem distracted too, their eyes fixated on the District 12 tributes.

I snap my eyes back forward, focusing for a moment, then begin waving at the crowds. I plaster on a fake smile, seeming as happy as possible. If anyone was paying attention to me, they wouldn't be able to see my true emotions.

What are my emotions? It's a strange mix of envy, hatred, disappointment, and fear. Too much for me to handle, at least right now.

Allying with Katniss crosses my mind, but I shake it away quickly. There's no way she would bother being my ally.

The chariot eases to a stop, and I direct my eyes to President Snow. He's standing stiffly at the podium to give his annual speech, and as he begins I can't help but notice his features: white hair and beard, a white suit and rose. And his eyes, scanning the crowd carefully.

How doesn't he spill food on his suit? I hear in my mind. This isn't my thought, I can imagine Rose asking me if she were here. I wonder how Rose and my family is for a moment, but I'm jerked slightly as the horses pulling our chariot bring us back forward, to the stables.

Cenia grabs my hand and helps me lightly hop off, and gives me a hug.

"You did great! You were oh-so cute up there!" She squeals. But I notice the edge on her voice, the tension pulling at her.

We walk back to our rooms and change, and I'm relieved to pull on some softer clothes. I shower and wash the last traces of makeup from my face. I stubbornly towel-dry myself, and my hair sticks to my face. I lightly comb it with my fingers, staring at myself in the mirror. I can see the few pounds I've put on here at the Capitol, but I still can see my ribs. Just another thing to do before the Games, I guess.

My fingers freeze mid-stroke. The Games. I haven't thought about it recently, I've been caught up in all the preparation and costumes and makeup. I have to remind myself that training begins tomorrow, to keep myself from panicking too much.

When I exit my room everyone else is already seated at the table, eating dinner.

"Sorry, Rue, we were going to wait for you, but we were too hungry!" Cenia exclaims. "We figured you might need some time alone, anyway."

I assure her it's okay, that I'm not that hungry. But that doesn't keep me from loading my plate with mashed potatoes and ham and a large salad. Alex gives me a look, but everyone else is so focused on their food and the parade that they don't notice.

I'm halfway through my plate by the time my stylist speaks to me.

"I was thinking purple, and wings. The wings would add a big part, would they not?" Sariah says. "What do you think, Rue?" I quickly swallow my food.

"Yes, I think it would look good," I say, indifferently. Sariah has a sketchbook out and begins drawing something.

"Wait! Not purple, I think blue would be better," Cenia says. "She looked fabulous during the parade."

"Wait, what about Thresh?" I say, ignoring her compliment.

"Thresh's outfit is much easier, just a suit. The girls' outfit is the one we have fun with!" Sariah exclaims, putting a mark down on her sketchbook.

"Let's watch the recap," Alex says, pushing a button on a small remote. The flat, black screen on the wall illuminates, and it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the burst of light.

The recap first shows District 1, in their flashy, shimmery outfits. The tributes from 1, 2, and 4, more commonly known as the Career Tributes, are the ones to look out for. The ones that train illegally for the games, train their whole lives just for these games.

Marvel, Glimmer, Clove, Cato. Their names swirl through my head, leaving me disoriented. I must remember them, and stay away. Hopefully they'll be killed by someone else.

When did I start thinking thoughts like this? Why am I becoming another person in their Games? I'm not so sure anymore.

Our District 11 chariot is not so memorable, when District 12 exits, literally flaming, from the stables. I understand the want for something different. After all, they wear coal miner suits every year for the parade. Except for the year they went naked, covered in coal dust. We try to forget that year.

The cameras watch District 12 for too long, giving every other district a small portion of the time. While I'm in awe of their outfits, it still upsets me.

I look back at the table, at the food still half finished there. I take another bite, chewing slowly.

"Wait, I missed the reapings. Can we watch them again?" I ask before Alex flicks off the screen.

"Yes, I suppose." Alex clicks a few buttons, and the screen turns to the reapings. Only a few people catch my eye, of course the Careers, District 5 has a sly looking girl named Finch, and the boy from 10, with a crippled foot. How unfair.

But of course, District 12 steals the stage when Katniss volunteers for her younger sister, Prim. I see the similarities between us, our first year in the reaping, small and petite, eyes filled with fear. But she has an advantage. Someone to save her.

Where was my saving grace, when I needed it? It makes me mad, mad at the Capitol, mad at my family, mad at anything. I quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind me.

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