Dear Bully,
You have broken me beyond my breaking point. I had tried to be your friend. You put me down, hit me, make fun of me, talk about me behind my back, laugh at me, call me names, say I suck at soccer, and quit talking to me. All of that happened in about one year. When I say you have hurt me, I mean physically and emotionally. You smack me, push me, spit on me, and throw football and soccer balls at me. No one noticed a thing. When I have bruises from you, I hide them and if someone asks me what happened, I lie and say that I ran into a table. They all believe it.
I cry myself to sleep every now and then. I cry in class, yet no one notices. I feel like I am a crybaby every time I cry. People ask me why am I so depressed a lot. I tell them that I am not and that I am fine. I get depressed because of you. You make me feel worthless. You make me feel ugly. You always used to say that I was ugly and that my crushes would never like me. You would make fun of me and my crushes. You used to say that they were ugly and so was I. I don't know why I believed you, but I did. I liked a boy and I told you. You went and told him. He doesn't speak to me that much anymore.
Every day at lunch you come to the table I sit at. You ask every body for food, even though you have a lunch box full of chips, soda, and candy. When no one gives you food, you get angry and hit me. You take little kids lunches. I have heard how you take things. "Give it to me before I hurt you!" Or you don't ask at all. I don't tell anyone because I get to scared that you are going to find out and hit me. When ever I stand up for myself you talk me down and hit me. You say that all I want to do is fight. In reality, all I want to do is get through this school year without getting beat up. I train so I get stronger. You always say how weak I am. You say that you are way stronger and that you could beat me if we got in a fight. I am pretty sure if we did get into a fight, I would chicken out so I won't get in trouble.
I play soccer so I can focus on something besides you and your insults. Soccer helps me clear my mind. I practice about 8-9 hours a week. I made the all-star team if that shows how good I am. Soccer is one of the only things I know I am good at. You make me doubt that. If I made it to the all-star team, that must show how much I practice. The more you hurt me the more I practice.
I try giving you pointers when we play soccer. You get mad and yell at me. You say that you could do it yourself.
You got mad at me because I sprained my elbow. You said I was faking. If not being able to bend your elbow means faking, then I was totally faking. I had sprained my ankle when I was playing soccer one game. When I told you, you laughed and said I was stupid.
I love to exercise, and you know that. Whenever I want to run or do ANYTHING athletic, you need to beat me or else you get all mad and you won't talk to anybody. Somehow it all gets back to me. I don't try. It happens and it hurts.
In gym, you want to be my partner so you can harass me, or at least that's what it feels like. You get mad at me when I want to choose my best friends. They was here for me from the beginning. When you were mean to me, they were here. When I was depressed, they were here.
Guess what? I do have friends, unlike what you say to me. They love and support me, unlike you. All you do is put me down and try to hurt me. While you do that, they pick me up and make me happy. I have only been happy a couple of times this school year. It started in August and it is December now.
When I have headaches, you love to scream as loud as you could in my ear. I would cry because they were so bad. You also say that I can't sing. You sound like you have been auto-tuned way too much while my voice cracks when I sing high notes.
You can't read my facial expressions. When I feel depressed, you make it worse. When I am happy, you make it worse. When I try and apologize you ignore me. People don't see why I am apologizing and quite frankly, I don't either. I like to think that if I apologize, we can be friends again. Every time I am wrong.
I won't mention names so you can't say I told everyone who you are. All I did is tell them what you did to me. I had already wrote a book about you and me. It almost got 100 views. Eight more and it will be 100. People read my, no, our story and they feel bad for me. Being honest, that helps me a lot.
Someone must have made you cold and mean. I don't know who or why but I am begging you to please stop. It has an affect on my daily life.
I started to listen to Adele and more depressing songs. Whose fault is that you ask? I would say you. Why do you hurt me? Why did I do to you? Just know that you have no control over me. You made me feel fat, stupid, ugly, weird, needy, bad, criminalistic (makes me feel like I am the criminal), and unappreciated. I learned that all of that is fake. I just need to remember that. I know that I am not perfect. I am okay with that.
I know that this is a long letter but I don't care. All of it is true. You beat me until I am nothing. All I am asking you to do is stop bullying me, please.
from, Lindsay
this is dedicated to: SoccerGymnast
