Breathe.

Chapter One: After We Part

"Breathe, Benson. Just breathe."
Olivia POV:
I couldn't get the voice out of my head.
When I awoke from the nightmare, I looked back to my right to make sure the warm body that comforted me last night was gone. It seemed like there was always someone new to fall asleep with and wake up to an empty bed. I was lost in thought when I heard a text tone. I looked over at my phone.
"Last night was amazing. Call me again if you need me."
I went straight to the contact details and tapped the word 'delete'. What part of "no strings attached" do people not understand?
I decided to wash the night away and go take a shower.
I'd be meeting an old friend from the precinct today. I didn't really want to go, but this person was probably DTF. When I exited the shower, I put on some clothes and reached into my bedside table drawer. I felt the cold material of the lighter and grabbed it. I then reached into the back of the drawer to find the soft roll in a plastic bag. I pulled out the handmade blunt, lit it and took a draw on the bittersweet drug. The feeling took over almost immediately. Things became fuzzy and I fell off into a daze.
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Elliot POV:
I woke up around 10 AM to the sound of whimpering. I looked over to the small bed at my doorway. It was empty. My gaze was abruptly averted to the side of my bed to find Sparky standing up on the bed, begging. It was Saturday and I didn't actually have to work for once. After being promoted to Sergeant, it's been somewhat easier to deal with a case. But there is always trouble with the detectives. I really don't see how Cragen dealt with us. Thinking back to all the days when Benson and I would cause Cragen to get angry and yell at us to 'get our asses in his office!' I couldn't think about her anymore. The way she left, I just couldn't think about it. She was dead. Really dead. It was hard to cope with, and adding on my marriage falling apart and eventually the divorce. Even now, thinking about her beautiful smile and the way she interacted with people; it was difficult. I always swore to catch the crazy guys that hit and ran, causing us to lose two great friends. But after all the months of case work and striving to catch the group, we were always lead to a dead end.
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Olivia POV:
After coming down from my high, I knew it had to be time to go meet him. I had to be careful because the people he works with still think I'm dead. It's hard enough living in New York and keeping it a secret.
I would tell everyone I'm still alive, but the group hasn't been caught yet as far as I know. Maybe I can get an update from tonight's date.
I got dressed and applied my make up. I actually looked like I had my shit together. In reality though, I was a mess, and I knew I was in a bad spot. I just couldn't muster the will to get over it, whatever 'it' was. I also knew that if they ever caught the guys that caused me to have to go into WP, and I wanted to go back to everyone, I would definitely have to clean up my act. But until then, I deal with life the way it is.
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Elliot POV:
I was fixing breakfast for Eli and I got a call. I just let it ring.
Kathy and the kids were only going to be down here for a week. Then they were heading back to Washington. The kids leave tomorrow so I was trying to spend as much time as I could with them.
The phone just kept ringing. It would hang up and call right back. It must have been important, so I finally answered.
{OnThePhone}
"Stabler."

"Elliot! We caught a break on the case." It was Cragen,

"Which one?"

"Olivia's." Finally. "I need you to come in right away."

"Well I have Eli right now. Give me some time to drop him off with his sister and then I'll be there asap."
I hung up the phone and rushed Eli with his breakfast.

"C'mon kid. You can eat in the car. Daddy's got work to do." I told him from the doorway of my room. I had to find my keys. Where the hell were my keys?!
I finally managed to find them after almost 5 minutes.

"I'm done with my cereal, daddy." Eli declared.

"Okay, good. Put your dishes in the sink." He was growing up to be a really great kid. He has manners and is very smart; top in his class, in fact. Then again, it is just a class of kindergarteners.
I looked at the clock and knew I had to get a move on.
I proceeded to drop Eli off with Kathleen. I went ahead and told them goodbye because I knew I'd be stuck on this case for the next few days.
After the salutations, I was on my way to the precinct.
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I rushed out of the elevator and as soon as I did, I was met with all eyes on me.

"What's going on, guys?" I asked, worried.

"Why don't we talk in my office?" Cragen asked. We walked into to his small space.

"What is it, Cap?" I asked again.

"You may want to sit down." he spoke and I got even more worried. I did as he suggested and sat in one of the cushiony chairs.

"Okay. Now please just tell me about the case. What new information do we have?"

"Well, Elliot, We have incarcerated the sex trafficking ring leader from the case that we were working on when the whole thing happened."

"Alright. That's great and all, but why are you telling me this?" I said quickly, eager to know the news.

"Elliot, you don't get it. The hit and run was organized by the FEDs. It was all an act to get Olivia and Casey into Witness Protection." he paused when I didn't speak up. "Olivia is alive, Elliot"
I sat there in silence. I couldn't believe it. She was really alive. But how could she leave and not tell me about it? You'd think she would contact me to let me know she was really okay. Now that there's no danger, I feel like I should find her and meet up with her. I'd have to get the new information and contact Olivia. For now, I had some catching up to do with this other case.
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Olivia POV:
I got a text from Cassidy at 8:00. It was fairly early compared to my previous dates. He wanted to meet in town. I told him I couldn't risk someone seeing me, but he insisted that it would be okay. So I headed towards the café he wanted to meet at. Usually I'd go to a restaurant for a date and not just a café, but Brian was always odd.

I got there just in time to see him walk in. Damn he still looked good. I should've never given up the chance to be with him. But that would never happen now. I walked in and sat down across from him.

"Well, well, well. Olivia Benson. You look ravishing." he said.

"Why, thank you, Brian. You don't look too bad yourself." I complemented back. He wasted no time getting in on the conversation.

"So, I have something very important to tell you. I don't know if you'll like it." He was gonna tell me about the case. I knew it; I didn't even have to ask.

"Okay. Tell me." I encouraged.

"Well, we got the news today that they have incarcerated Galvan Jove, the man from the sex trafficking ring. You're safe now; he's gone."

"Wow. So...um. I can finally tell everyone I'm not dead?" I asked cautiously.

"Everyone at the precinct already knows you and Casey are fine. We told them this morning." Elliot. He already knows. I couldn't face him after these three long years. He'd be mad that I didn't tell him I was okay. Elliot has had to deal with this for too long and now that he knows I'm alive, he'd be furious.
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Elliot POV:
I finally forced myself to leave the precinct so I could at least get something to eat. I knew there was a small café in town and I could get something from there.
I drove down to Agra's Café. When I was inside, I saw someone with a NYPD jacket on so I approached them. It was Brian Cassidy. The closer I got, I noticed he was with someone.
Her body. The shape of her face. The way she ran her hands through her hair. It was her.
I walked over; I couldn't control myself.

"Olivia?"

She turned around in her chair. She was definitely surprised.

"Elliot?!"