whispers•barryallen

~hidden~

"He saved my life. He saved us all. For that I am truly grateful. And I just wanted to say, Streak wherever you are, whoever you are - we can't thank you enough."

 The girl doesn't forget to nod at the camera and smile and then it's back to talking about The Streak again. 

There was a robbery at a bank tonight. A diamond. Gone. 

When I knew it was Leonard and I had felt sick to my stomach. He was a selfish arrogant jerk. He a thief. A criminal who stole my heart and crushed it. 

A knock on my door caused me to bounce out of my thoughts. Getting up off the couch I turned the TV off and opened the door. 

"Hey," Barry gave me a knowing smile. I crashed into his chest and wrapped my arms around his torso as I clenched my eyes shut trying to stop the tears from coming. He held me tightly to him making sure not to let go. 

"It's ok to cry Lyra." He whispered. 

I took a step back. "But I shouldn't because it's been a few years. I should be over it. I -"

"His name just popped right back up on the news so it's ok if you feel like you're not over it. It's just things reminding you about him. About the past." My eye contact broke with him as I clenched my eyes shut. A tear falling slowly down. 

Barry shut the door behind him and grabbed my hand as he walked us over to the couch to sit. He faced me but he still made sure to hold onto me. His hand held onto my own, his thumb slowly tracing circles. His other hand reached out to grasp my other hand and he held them in his lap.

It was quiet. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

Another tear fell as I locked my eyes on the couch cushion. As much as his words usually soothed me, and his touch sent me on edge it was only making me more angry with myself. 

Why? Why did I have to go through all of this crap? For what?

 "There's not much to talk about Barry." I said blankly.

He sighed hearing the tone of my voice knowing I might not be opening up today. "Well," he started and I looked up at him. "-I meant - like if you wanted to vent or something." He seemed at loss for words and his quizzical brow and soft eyes made me smile. "I don't really know." I chuckled a dry laugh at his confusion. 

"I'm not the one whose good with words in these kind of situations." He squeezed my hands which sent nervous goosebumps up my arm. 

He was talking about me. And I thought I was terrible with words here he is saying the same thing.

It was quiet for a minute as I felt tears pooling at my eyes again. I hated crying. 

Disconnecting our hands I stood up and decided to take a step on my mini balcony. I wanted a breath of fresh air and it felt nice as the chilly air hit me. Walking to the railing I leaned against it with my elbows looking at the tall buildings and busy streets. The way the city looked when it was night was so beautiful to me. 

"You really should be more open with him Lyra. He's just trying to be nice you ungrateful girl." Fuoco hissed in my mind. 

I gritted my teeth to keep from yelling at her right now. I hung onto the railing and set my head on top of the iron bar, taking a short breath. 

"What's really bothering you?" Barry's calm voice sent chills down my spine as I saw his feet standing by mine. I lifted my head and stood straight up again but still gripped the railing pretty hard.