Why? (Destiel Highschool/College/Coffee Shop AU)

Chapter 13

(now this takes place when dean saw cas in the hospital)

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Castiel's P.O.V. 

Sitting at the window, looking out of it

only seeing the hospital parking lot 

it's the only thing I've seen in a while

so far nothing has changed with dean 

i talk to him when were alone 

which isn't a lot

gabe comes with me sometimes 

sam comes in a lot with bobby

ellen and jo come in 

they try and talk to me like nothings wrong 

like dean's not even in the room

they think i need to see a therapist 

but i don't want to 

i need to face this on my own 

i need to fight 

and that's what i'm doing 

one step at a time 

dean right now is my top priority

i will deal with Metatron and the others later

same goes for my uncle 

i don't exactly know what i'm going to do yet, 

but whatever it is, i will  have dean by my side 

he will get through this 

he will wake up 

and i will be by his side when he does 

i hear the nurse walk in 

i feel her hand on her shoulder

i shudder a little bit 

thinking about how dean used to do the same thing when i was sad 

"don't worry castiel, i'm sure he will wake up soon" the nurse says to me 

i look at her a little frustrated 

"that's what you say everyday, but hes still the same everyday" i say a little harshly 

she just looks down and nods her head

i look at her again with an apologetic look 

"i'm sorry, i'm just..." i trail off trying to find the right words 

i guess a mix of tiredness, sadness, anger, and numbness 

i'm not sure how i feel 

"i know" she says giving me a reassuring smile 

suddenly something very strange happens 

i feel like someone is touching my shoulder 

even though i know nobody is 

it felt familiar 

like...

like dean...

a feeling of anxiousness passes through me

i look over at deans bed and rush to his side 

is it him?

is this feeling him?