how i survived

|| musings

i am beginning to understand
that there is something
extraordinarily wrong with me.

for all of my musings
and self-announced adjectives,

i realise the issues.

and that my pain is so great
it is causing me to break down
like abandoned machinery,
warped and distorted
only due to it being unwanted
and old.

for this psychologist thought
she could heal the gaps
by making me resurface
to the darkness in the cobwebbed
corners?

bringing things up from the past
to rebury in caskets inside me?

you don't bring things back from
the dead
because that's just fucking creepy.