THE SECRET BEHIND LIFE

9. I Feel Stupid

I don't know whether this chapter is good or bad. My friends liked this one ALOT. So here you go.....
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--ZAINAB HERA :)

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I feel stupid. I feel really fucking stupid for letting you go. I shouldn't have. I should have held onto you. But I also had my limits. I had to let you go. I was never the type of a girl to have a fling. I always wanted something that lasted a life time. Of course I was stupid, I was living in a world of dreams. But it's not bad to dream right? Sometimes dreams do come true. Mine didn't though. Anyway, I was living in a world of dreams. I was a foolish teenager who believed in fairy tales, who believed in happy endings. I wanted something that lasted a lifetime. That led to marriage and having kids and loving each other till infinity. I know that may sound old fashioned but I loved you so much that I was unable to afford losing you even though you were never mine. Regardless of the fact that you boldly stated it to me that you won't marry me, I still feel stupid for leaving you, for letting you go. The regret and the guilt still haunts me all the time. The thoughts of what we could have been, what we would have become still haunt me. Maybe we would have have actually lasted and maybe you would have changed your mind about marrying me. I mean miracles do happen right???? Obviously why would you marry an ugly, annoying, pathetic, irritating and bossy piece of shit. But I am human. I dream. I hope for the best. So i dreamed of us together forever. I mean c'mon dude miracles do happen right???????? I should have actually stayed with you. But I was done with everything. What was the point in being together when you never wanted to be with me in the first place and also didn't want us to last forever. But still I feel stupid for letting you go. Maybe I should have been happy if we were together. But life had it's own plans. Life wanted to tear us apart but still my love.....I FEEL STUPID.

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