I Thought You Were Different

Regeneration

Pain was too weak of a word for what you were feeling; the procedure had finished without complications and Dr. Cho was very pleased with the outcome, but the recovery had now kicked in with a vengeance. You knew there would be pain; after all it was a major surgery, but you weren't expecting this. The upper half of your body was writhing while the lower remained still, though your legs felt like they were on fire.

"(Y/N), try to stay calm," Helen said as soothingly as she could despite Tony practically breathing down her neck as he watched you suffering. "This is normal, and it will pass."

"Can't you give her anything?"

"Her nerves are regenerating. If I give her pain medications it will alter her receptors and could jeopardize the repair. I can't."

Clint was still at your side, and Tony now took his place on your other. The two men looked at each other with both anger and fear in their expressions, feeling completely helpless to you and beginning to wonder if you had made the right decision. "Honey, listen," Clint whispered, "I need you to slow your breathing, okay? Just focus on my voice. Don't focus on the pain."

If the pain hadn't been so gripping, you could have replied. You could have forced your eyes open even just to look at him, but you were trapped in your mind and the pain that was like nothing you had ever experienced, even worse than any wound you had suffered in battle.

All you wanted was Steve.

~~~

"I thought...I thought I had moved on, you know? And I hadn't. But then this girl came along, and flipped my world over. She challenges me constantly and doesn't let me get away with anything," Steve chuckled quietly. "Not that you did either, Peg. But this is..." his voice faded and his gaze dropped to his tightly clasped hands resting nervously on his legs as he sat at her bedside.

"This is better," she agreed. "It's okay to say that, Steve. It's good." Peggy reached down and took one of his hands and held it next to her with a small smile crossing her aged but still beautiful face. "I thought you were different. As soon as you walked in the door, I could see that something had changed about you."

"I'm not surprised," he smiled back. "I could never get away with anything around you." Steve's expression dropped slightly and he shook his head, "we keep messing things up...I...mess things up. She's off making a huge decision right now, and she didn't feel like she could tell me. She could tell our teammates, but not me."

He went on to tell her about Wanda and his vision, your injury, the engagement, and where you were now. He then sat quietly and waited as she thought and considered it all, waiting for her to say anything that might make him feel better or that might give him the answers he needed. Steve would never tell you this, because he feared your reaction, but you did remind him of Peggy; only because you were both so fiercely independent, and because you could see things in him that he didn't know were there.

"Steve, this is her choice to make." His first reaction was to object, but he held back and she continued on before he had the chance. "That doesn't mean that she didn't consider you. In fact, it sounds to me like she made this decision for you just as much as for herself. But tell me, have you ever once put yourself in her place?"

He stared at her blankly for just a moment, clearing his throat and looking away to take the small box she had left for him from her bedside table. Lifting the lid slowly, he sucked in a deep breath at the sight of its contents, gently lifting them into his fingers to inspect the two dog tags that had adorned his chest so many years ago. It was time for them to belong to you.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "yeah, I just-" Steve stopped, interrupted by the buzz of his phone. "Sorry," he mumbled, taking it from his pocket. A wash of emotions hit him seeing Tony's name and a single message on the screen, and the change didn't escape Peggy's attention.