I Thought You Were Different

Respects

The next morning when the alarm sounded next to your side of the bed, you hit it with an anger and frustration that it didn't deserve, finding yourself in an immediate bad mood. Nothing in particular had happened the night before, Steve was still sleeping peacefully at your side, the sun was shining, and you had no explanation for it other than that you had to wake up. You gently lifted his arm away from your side so you could roll away, swinging your legs off the side of the bed to stand into a long stretch.

Sure, this wasn't going to be a good day, that much you knew, but your demeanor was beyond that and you had to get yourself in check before Steve woke. He didn't deserve what was coming today, and he certainly didn't deserve your foul mood on top of it. With a gentle push, you opened the heavy curtains over the balcony doors took a step outside, taking a deep breath of the London air that chilled your lungs and made you shudder slightly at the change in temperature. You had suggested this location to Steve for your honeymoon, but now you felt that to be inappropriate, and that being here again would only remind him of this day.

"Alright, (Y/N)," you whispered to yourself, "get it together."

"Good morning, Sunshine."

You peeked your head around the partition that divided the balcony next door to yours, unable to help but smile at the face trying to peek back around at the same time. "Morning, Buck. You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep."

"Ah, well I couldn't wake up. Maybe we should work together on that and balance it out." You turned your back to the balcony railing and hopped up, sitting precariously over a drop of ten stories to the sidewalk below. "How are you holding up? Are you ready for this?"

Bucky mimicked your position and sat on the railing of his balcony as close to you as he could get. Neither of you wavered and held perfect balance, but if Steve could see either of you right now, you knew he'd protest and force you down. "I know I'm doing better than our boy in there. He might be trying to look stoic, but I know that he's barely holding it together. I know that you know that already."

"Yeah, he said her name a few times in his sleep last night," you sighed. "I expected that though, I suppose."

"Wow, (Y/N). You're really forgiving," he scoffed with a small chuckle. "I don't know of many women who would let that go, saying an old girlfriend's name in their sleep."

"You like to stir up trouble, don't ya, Barnes? You know full well that it's not like that at all," you replied with a nudge to his arm, making him grab the rail to steady himself, returning the favor in kind as you grabbed on to secure yourself.

"It's not like what at all?" Steve yawned, slowly making his way to you to lift you from the ledge, just as you had predicted. "Down, girl. You too, idiot."

Bucky smiled and hopped down as ordered, giving Steve a lopsided salute. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. I'll just go get ready. I'll meet you guys in a bit."

Steve wrapped his arms around you and turned you to face away, holding you as you both looked out over the city while it woke with you. He stood quietly this way for a long time before you finally felt comfortable to say anything. The day would be filled with moments like this, so you may as well test the mood now in the safety of your hotel room. "What can I do to help?"

The sound of your voice must have startled him from a trance, hearing him suck in a deep breath and feeling his arms tightening around you from the surprise. "You're already doing it, doll. I was scared that you were going to say that you wouldn't come with me, because I don't know if I would make it through this without you."