Keep Running (Killjoy)

19

P.P.'s POV:
I was reassuring Missile about herself, thinking back on some of my own past where I hated myself. It was depressing to even think that even Missile Kid could feel like that. But I wanted to die; there was no reason for me to be alive and I was just ruining people's lives. That was what I had thought before Mikey, Frank, and Ray had a serious conversation with me about turning my life around. My distressed state caused me to consume heavy amounts of alcohol and I was killing myself slowly each day. From then on, the alcohol vanished from my life and I immediately got clean.

Missile's eyes drifted over me, studying my expression and frowning. After noticing this, I got up from my crouching position and ruffled her puffy, dark hair before grabbing her hand so we could go somewhere else for a bit before dinner. A smile returned to her gentle face as we meandered down the hallway. She got an idea of some sort, and began tugging me behind her towards my art room. It was one of the places where I took her around the HQ building when she was younger since it was safe and calming. There was even a collection of drawings I'd done of her from the past and a few scribbled pieces from her younger ages.

"Can I see your art?" She asked, standing right in front of the locked door.

"Well we're already here, so why not?" I opened the door with the keys in my pocket and allowed her inside.

Missile Kid wandered around in a similar way to Destroya when she first saw the room. Her eyes were wide in amazement and adoration, reflecting an understanding of the art's various meanings. I sat down in one of the corners of the room and waited for her to make her way all around the room.

"You somehow got better, Party. I love it." She finally said.

"Thanks. I bet you have too."

"Nah, I haven't been practicing."

"Maybe you have a secret gift for it."

"Probably not." She giggled.

We spent some time in the art room before a knock sounded at the door. Missile got up from her criss-crossed sitting position and cautiously opened the door only slightly. There was a monotone voice that began speaking to her in a low hush that I couldn't quite understand from the other side of the room. Missile's head turned to face me and she motioned for me to come along with whoever had just knocked. She looked half afraid and half saddened by the recent conversation with the person outside of the room, that I could recognize as a nurse. It wasn't hard to predict that the nurse had come to talk about Destroya with me.

Missile went off ahead of us and down a separate hallway to give me some privacy in the matter. I looked expectantly towards the white uniform-clad woman who apparently had news for me. She sighed deeply before saying anything. We stood stopped in the middle of an empty hallway lit only by the fluorescent lights above our heads.

"This is about Destroya isn't it?" I asked as she opened her mouth to talk.

"Yes. She recently entered a more critical state, unfortunately. While operating on her already serious wound, one of the assistants tore the tissue further. Also, due to our lack of available sterile supplies, there is a possibility that her wound may be infected. This could potentially lead to death if it's severe enough." The nurse met my eyes with hers apologetically.

"Fück." I muttered.

"She'll be awake after the medication wears off in about six minutes, if you'd like to see her. Just remember not to mention anything that could make her feel stressed or anxious."

"Of course I want to see her!" I replied in a raised voice and sped off in the direction of the room I remembered her being kept in.

The clacking of the nurse's shoes continued loudly behind me as I ran. Without thinking, I burst through the door where Destroya was lying unconsciously. Her skin tone had remained the same ghastly grey as before and her arms began to move very slightly until her eyes opened to peer into mine. My breath got caught in my throat as I mentally realized that this was one of the few times I had been able to contact her for a while. It was even further depressing to think that it could also be one of the last few times I would be able to see her alive before me.

"Destroya." I practically whispered.

Her grey eyes glazed over with crystal tears, "I'm going to die."

"Shh, no you aren't. I won't let it happen if you don't want it to. Don't be afraid of what's going to happen in the future, enjoy what you have now."

"How am I supposed to do that if I'm dying?! I can feel my stomach stinging more and my wound getting worse. I can't-"

"Shh, relax. Worrying about it won't solve a thing, so you might as well just calm down and not be miserable. I'm here for you and I want to help you."

"Don't you see, Party? I'm just going to hurt you in the end. I told you that you should've let me go."

"I will not leave you. I'm going to be with you for as long as I can because I can't go away, even if I want to."

"But why hurt yourself if you could just leave me alone?"

My mind knew what it wanted to say but the words wouldn't make it out of my mouth immediately. There was a cautionary filter over my words for once, and it was stopping me from giving her an answer. But I had to tell her, or there was no chance that she would understand my need for her to be there. Or at least be happy.

"Because I fücking love you." I grumbled lowly under my breath loud enough for her to hear.