Poetry That Breathes

Your future ex girlfriend

Today I started planning how I would break your heart
Because I loved you so much at one point
And now all there is are fond memories.
I still love you
I just know we aren't meant to be.
So I'm choosing the day after graduating high school
Cause I'm big on symbolism.
I was your fist kiss
You were my first healthy relationship
We were each other's first time
Our first love.
Yet I'm the one who's doing you wrong and you're the victim.
I've always been the victim.
But I'll be sending you off more cautious of your heart
Because I'm going to break it so badly.
To the next girl that falls for you I'll be a heathen
But I know what we had was good
It was easy
And right now I'm just saving face as I live out the remaining days before our relationship dies
And right now I'm imagining how much I know you'll cry
Because you cared
I cared
But my heart is going to break over the next two months
It's going to be agony
And I fucking deserve that
Because I want to go to prom with you
As stupid as that is
And I want to see you graduate
I want to experience high school with you
I just can't take you with me to college
But I need to be on my own to prove that I don't need a man
I always seem to be dating someone and I just don't need that in my life
We would have had a beautiful house filled with beautiful children
But when you kiss me I feel nothing
Because when my grandparents died within two months of each other I changed
I'm not the same girl you fell in love with
I wish you could be the one
But you aren't
I don't know where that leaves me
But I need to find out who I am without relying on someone
I need to be me
Not someone's girlfriend
I need to become a better person
I know you'll find a girl
I really don't want to think about dating after you
You made me happy you didn't do anything wrong
I should feel something and you deserve someone who feels so strongly about you that they would want to die for you
I want you to have that
I wish I could be the one to heal the broken heart you'll have
But I'm afraid only time can do that
I know this well
Remember I loved you and someone else will love you Even more
And don't forget to hate me
Because I planned this heartbreak of yours.

With my cold dead heart,

Your future ex girlfriend