Enchanted ~ A Hermione x Draco fanfic

Detention with Dolores

Draco looked on at Dolores Umbridge, his face grief-stricken. He stumbled for words, while Hermione stood perfectly still and perfectly silent.

'Draco Malfoy,' Miss Umbridge enunciated every syllable, rolling it across her tongue in an utterly delighted way. 'I wouldn't have guessed.' She giggled in a way that made Hermione want to slap a roll of duct tape around her mouth. From the hating looks the High Inquisitor got, Hermione was sure most people did, too. 'And Hermione Granger,' She looked honestly surprised seeing the girl with Draco, 'I was under the impression you were the prim and perfect little mu-' She stopped to compose herself ,'muggle-born that I see in the classroom.' The slowness of her voice scared Hermione, and she felt herself give a nervous cough when she ceased to speak.

'Cough sweet, dear?' Miss Umbridge smiled sickly sweet, though she offered nothing of the sort.

'No, I-' Hermione started but stopped quickly.

'Cat got your tongue? Or would that be Draco, here?' 

Hermione almost retched, not because of what she'd said exactly, more due to who was saying it.

'Really, you should get that cough sorted out.' The woman giggled again, adjusting a ruffle on her disgustingly pink coat. Hermione wasn't surprised if every garment she was wearing was a just as horribly pink. Every garment. Hermione held back a shudder.

Meanwhile, Draco was in the process of breaking down mentally. She'd boasted once to another teacher that she was indirectly related to the Selwyn family, and Draco knew his father was good friends with Agnes Selwyn, a stunted little pure-blood witch who worked as an editor for the Daily Prophet. What if his father found out about Hermione? What if Umbridge told him herself? She was surely able.

'I'm sure you both are perfectly aware of Educational Decree Number Thirty-Six, in which-'

''Boys and Girls are not permitted to be within 6 inches of each other.'' Hermione recited tonelessly.

'Being able to repeat the Decree stainlessly is meaningless if you do not obey it, Miss Granger.' Snapped Umbridge. 'I'm guessing you know what's coming, then.'

Hermione sighed and with a swift look at Draco, sadly announced, 'Draco and I will be attending one of your detentions, Professor Umbridge.' 

'Smart girl. I'll see you two..' Umbridge paused, a cruel look on her face, 'Tonight! In fact, right now!' She snickered. 'Well, chop-chop! After me!'

She began walking swiftly on her short legs towards her small office, which sported a bronze plaque reading 'PROFESSOR DOLORES UMBRIDGE - HIGH INQUISITOR'. Hermione was puzzled by the large space under the words 'HIGH INQUISITOR', as if she was expecting a further addition to the the plaque. It looked quite new, and there was not a single finger-mark upon it. 'In you go, quickly now.' Umbridge tittered in a way that reminded Hermione of a small bird.

When Draco and Hermione entered the office of Dolores Umbridge, Draco resisted the urge to put a hand over his eyes as he was blinded by almost every shade of pink possible. The room screamed 'girly' to a point where it became tediously disgusting. Not only was the room utterly pink, the walls were decorated with dainty plates, each one holding the picture of a kitten or cat, different breeds and fur colours, each mewing as the strangers entered the room. Draco, who had never been fond of cats, bared his teeth at a Siamese kitten while Umbridge was seeing to a cup of tea. The kitten only mewed louder, and set off another three who were asleep. The noise was insufferable, but Umbridge only smiled as they grew louder. Hermione suspected the noise had slowly driven her insane and she suffered to notice any more. Cuteness surrounded the trio, although Draco swore from now on he'd prefer his cuteness in small doses.

'Chocolate cake?' Umbridge offered, and Draco could vividly imagine her inserting poison into them first.

'No, thank you.' Draco replied stiffly, and Hermione followed suit by declining.

'Oh but they're just delicious! I insist, really.'

Hermione awkwardly accepted one, and took a bite, though as soon as she looked away, silently spat it into her hand. Draco noticed and upon being offered a slice, did the same.

The next few edible snacks she offered, they did the same, until their hands were a mush of biscuits, cake, a chocolate bar and some other things that were unrecognizable. 

'Now. I didn't invite you here to let you snack up, this is a detention. We'll start with some lines, hm?' She asked, although it sounded more like a statement than a question.

'But Professor, we don't have our quills or-' Draco began, but Professor Umbridge interrupted with a slight 'Hem-Hem' of a cough. 

'I have the quills you will be using. My favourites, I must admit.' Umbridge snickered quietly. She pulled from her desk two quills, the feathers of both were inky black, like a raven's. Umbridge then flicked her wand and two pieces of lined paper flew from under the desk to in front of where both sat.

'Professor, what will we be writing?' Hermione asked in a small voice. 

'I think 'I will keep my lips to myself. ' should cover it.' Umbridge looked positively delighted, as if she was tempted to laugh at her own joke. 'You can write it until it becomes clear to you.'

Draco wondered what she meant by that, but began writing nevertheless, as did Hermione.

Dolores Umbridge hummed the beginning of Für Elise to herself as pain shot through Hermione's hand. She was the first to start writing, only to feel the stinging sensation at the back of her hand. She was onto the last word when she scratched it absent-mindedly with her other hand, thinking it to be an itch, only to see blood trickle off her hand and onto the paper. She gasped, horrified, to see Draco experiencing the same thing. Etched into her hand in her own flesh were the words 'I will keep my lips to myself.' She didn't cry, or scream, or wimper. She stayed exactly still. She lifted her head to meet the excited eyes of Professor Umbridge. 'Has it become clear to you, my dear?' She asked in a voice that reminded Hermione of the sickly sweet taste of honey. 

Hermione nodded. Umbridge leant back in her seat. Draco made a wailing noise.

'And I can see Draco, here, has got the idea.' Umbridge giggled again, and then there was silence between the three of them. The kittens and adult cats continued to meow and purr into the silence, until Umbridge said, 'I hope I won't have to see you again.' The two looked ghastly, but stood up quite steadily and left. Draco expected Hermione to burst into tears, or hug him, but she didn't. Draco looked more like he was going to wail with fright than she did. Hermione just emptied out the mush of the inedible food she'd kept all that time and left.

*****

Hermione winced as Crookshanks let out a hungry meow. She never told Ron or Harry about what happened with Umbridge. In fact, she didn't mention Umbridge at all. Although at first they were curious about the bandages on Hermione's left hand, she lied and told them that Crookshanks got overexcited and bit her.

'I've never seen that bloody cat excited in my life,' Ron said, 'unless you count when it chases the bottom of my robes.'De

*****