The Ultimate Guide to Harry Potter Fanfiction

Another Weasley!

Turns out Ginny wasn't the only Weasley sister, nor was she the first.

I'm going to be honest, I haven't been reading actual fanfics (besides yours that you ask me to look over) for months. I've grown a lot busier over the past year and a half, what with getting a job, preparing for my N.E.W.T.s and then college, and trying to focus on Star of Gryffindor and my revamp project of it. So, I definitely had to take an afternoon and skim a bunch of these types of fanfics.

The things I do for this book... I hated it. I wanted to rip my hair (or my eyes) out multiple times. I purposely went for the ones that sounded cliche and horrible, and now I want to bleach my eyes (and maybe drink some of it while I'm at it). However, that's good, because that means not only do you get a chapter packed with cliches to avoid, you also get something I haven't done in a long time: an example.

The Eighth Weasley

Hello, my name is Victoria Arabella Marilyn Rose Weasley. I am eleven. I have beautiful red hair that's curly and long. I have a very large family but they all hate me, and no one knows that I exist. 

I woke up in my room in the attic like I always do. There is a ghoul who lives in the attic, too, and he is my only friend. I walked downstairs, and Mum started to scream at me. "Why are you downstairs! You aren't supposed to be down here!" She hit me, and then my twin Ron came down the stairs and started laughing at me. 

"I'm sorry, I'll go back upstairs," I said, crying because Ron had kicked me in the stomach when I had fallen over because Mum had hit me. 

"No, make breakfast," Mum said. "And then you can't eat any of it and you can go back upstairs because we can't afford to feed you even though we have a younger child than you and we can afford to feed her."

"Hey look, Hogwarts letters!" Ron said, and the owls flew through the window. All my other brothers came downstairs and got their letters. Ginny came down, too, and started crying because she didn't have one. 

When my brothers had all gotten their letters, there was still one left. It had my name on it. "Nooooooo!" shouted Mum. 

I picked it up. "I'm going to Hogwarts!"

"Well I guess there is nothing we could possibly do about that! It's not like we have to power to not let you go!" Mum said. "You'd better be a Gryffindor, though, or we will never speak to you again! Except to bully you, of course."

"You'll be more of a disappointment than you already are," Percy said. 

"You'll be more of a disappointment than Errol!" Ron said.

"You'll be more of a disappointment than Ron!" Fred and George said.

"You're already a disappointment, but this would be worse, because apparently the Weasleys do not love their children," Dad said, because he had appeared at some point.

"I have no character traits other than crying and wanting to go to Hogwarts, so I hate you, and I want to go to Hogwarts," Ginny said. 

"Maybe you could if you weren't such a baby," I said sassily. 

"You'll never be as good as us," Percy and Fred and George and Bill and Charlie said to me. They all started to hit me and suddenly I had a new scar, very pretty and swirly on my shoulder.