Imperfect Triangle

Chapter 7

Jin lowers the car windows, allowing fresh cool breeze to blow in. His hands grip the wheel and spin it effortlessly. Although he's not smiling, his brows and shoulders are at ease, so relaxed, like a whale in its ocean.

The tune he's humming is annoying as hell. How he enjoys driving someone else's car beats me. It smells just like Toshio here. I'm not saying the scent of wood and musk is bad. It's just...I know I wouldn't like it if I'm wearing someone else's dress.

Shifting my weight wretchedly in the leather seat, I find it difficult to withdraw my eyes from Jin. A scar cut his left brow in half, but at least his face is not covered by bruises anymore. He looks handsome again.

This is all too surreal as if I'm in a technicolor dream, an alternative space and time where Jin does own a luxurious car for impromptu getaway. We could have been rich and posh, freed from our responsibilities.

In this reality, however, we only got a rusty bike to ride together for delivering tea around the neighborhood. It has always been the two of us up against the world. I was sixteen back then. Though it was the first time I had my arms wrapped around his waist, my heartbeat was not as fast as I am now.

"A cat got your tongue? Why aren't you talking?" asks Jin, looking over at me.

"Oh, now you want to talk? You've been acting like you don't know me at all!" I slap his arm and I believe it's more painful for me than him. He doesn't flinch a little.

"You wouldn't want me to ruin the mood for you and your boyfriend."

"Toshio is not my boyfriend. Not yet."

I said so because I hope Jin will show a bit of jealousy. And maybe I'm imagining things, I observe some symptoms. His grip on the wheel goes tighter, and the way he speaks of my 'boyfriend' sounds exactly like how I used to speak of his 'girlfriend'. It would be heartwarming if he really doesn't want me to date, but I'm afraid he's just looking out for me as he always does.

"You can tell him I'm your family," he suggests.

"No. You're not," I snap, frustration piling up inside my throat. "Can we go somewhere else?"

Jin shrugs and steps on the gas. Half an hour of silence later, we arrive our spot. The old pier has been a sacred place for us to discuss our ambitions since we were naive teenagers. By the sea was where I told Jin I had been admitted to a college and he confessed he was under some training to become a professional boxer. We were both so thrilled about the opportunities ahead. But the more we have talked, the more we are certain there isn't a map leading to our future. We can only muddle along.

The sun's orange yolk sinking below the horizon is magically beautiful. Embracing myself, I'm lost in the view instead of asking the thousand questions that clog my head. The truth is I never want to know anything. Jin is back and we're now gazing at the sunset together. What's more can I ask for? If time stopped at this moment, I wouldn't protest.

"I'm gonna leave you here if all you do is stare at the sun," Jin complains as he thrusts his hands into the pockets of his flashy trousers and kicks away a pebble off the ground. "Shoot me with your questions already."

"How about you do the story-telling?" I snort as I slowly walk to him. "Do I always have to drill you for some answers?"

"Don't you know enough? I have a job. I finally get paid regularly," says Jin as he grins and holds open his arms.

The man standing in front of me has transformed since I last saw him. He gets happier, stronger, his physique sculpted with muscles.

"Why haven't you called?" I ask, lifting my chin to look at him. He however drifts his eyes away.