The Anti Hero ⥤ Rick Grimes

[4] Terminus and the Sanctuary

Tarzan sat at the table, his eyes glazing over everyone in front of him. Myself, Richard, Cal and Howard.
"So?" I called, raising an eyebrow at him.
"We're under attack." He simply stated. I think I'm the only one who recognised the dread in Tarzan's voice. Nobody else could see past his tough exterior but me.
"What do we do?" Cal questioned, fear sprouting on his face. "We can't fight them?! We're outnumbered. We haven't got as many weapons as them?! What the hell do we do?" He panicked.
Tarzan held up his hand to silence Cal.
"Cal, buddy. Kindly shut the hell up and let me think."
Cal shuts his mouth immediately.
"No..." I mumbled, tapping my fingers on the metal table. "We get the numbers then. We take in more survivors. We find more weapons. Hell, we steal more weapons. We have to win this fight. We have to."
Tarzan nodded, a small smile spreading across his face.
"And we will. It could be one of our men on ten hundred of theirs. Either way, we're winning. I'll make sure of it."
Cal, Richard and Howard's faces light up. They idolised Tarzan. They believed in him. They'd do anything for him. They'd lead an outmatched fight for him. They'd die for him.
What was it about Tarzan that was so worth dying for?

We sat in silence for a long time. Everybody in the shipping container was working on some makeshift weapon. Something to defend themselves against the people of Terminus. Not going to lie, I was still disoriented. Pain clouded most of my thoughts and irradiated my ability to think. I was surrounded by people I didn't know.

Somehow, even when I'd denied the temptation of staying with Rick's group, I'd wound up with them anyway.

There were more than just Rick, Michonne and Carl in here with me though. In fact, I had lost count of the voices. They all spoke to each other so naturally. Somehow, I got the feeling that they'd known each other before this. That, or Rick was a real slut when it came to welcoming people into his group.

For a while the darkness was just emptiness. So empty that if I stared into it, I could see eternity and oblivion all in one.
There was the constant sound of someone scraping a belt buckle against the floor or someone whispering to another person so it was never completely quiet- and even if everyone held their breath and stood still for a minute, there'd still be white noise. White noise was the worst. Once you've spent as many days in solitude as I have, you'll take any sound, no matter how loud, over white noise.

In a few hours of being in the shipping container, light shimmered inside. It must have been daylight, so every little hole and crack in the container lit up the inside with thin beams of light. Only then, could I start putting voices to faces. There were a lot of them. They'd spoken to each other so easily. Almost like they were family.
"You guys know each other...don't you?" I question. Rick nods.
"We were together. Got split up." It makes sense.
"JJ?" Carl calls. I turn to face him. The young kid should be worried out of his mind right now- but I think he's holding it together better than any of us. "You're with us now. You're part of us."
I smile slightly.
"Yeah." I whisper, turning to face Rick. "Too late to take you up on your offer?"
Rick shakes his head.
"Nah." He replies. "Not too late."

In my hand I hold a straightened out bobby pin. I know it's worth nothing...but I keep scraping it against the floor, pretending that it will help me when push comes to shove.
"God!" Someone exclaims. "Why won't they just kill us? What are they keeping us for?!"
Nobody answers. Everyone is masked in fear. Some are probably crying, happy that it's too dark for others to see them at their weakest.

It's not until there's a creak and a few inaudible voices that I feel real terror.
"Get ready." Rick growls.
I don't think I can ever be ready for this. What am I even sharpening this bobby pin for? I've never killed anyone before?! I wasn't even sure I could handle it?
"Alright." Daryl growls. "There's four of them pricks coming right our way." He's gazing out of the gap in the door, watching something play out in front of it.
"We all know what to do." Rick calls. "Go for their eyes first. Then their throats."
Everyone stands up, getting ready to fight. I pull myself up, standing beside Carl and watching the door. Everyone is pulling their fighting poses and readying to fight. The only thing I can really think about right now is getting out of this container. Killing people isn't on my mind. Running isn't on my mind. Introducing myself to people isn't on my mind. Fitting in with a new group isn't on my mind. Dying isn't on my mind. The only thing that I've planned so far is getting the hell outta here. Then, I make it up as I go along. Since that's the JJ signature move. Make it up as I go.