The Anti Hero ⥤ Rick Grimes

[7] The Fear That Overrides

"Listen, JJ. I'm going to need you to take a look at Alison. She's feeling a little off...?" Cal looked up from his book. It read 'Becoming a father: What to expect'.
I sighed, placing my plate onto the counter and nodding.
"She's pregnant, Cal. It's to be expected that she feel like crap...?"
Cal's eyes glazed over mine, my tired face, the bags under my eyes, the bruises on my collarbone.
"Whoa, doc. Are you okay?" Cal hesitantly asked me, stepping forward. I nodded, sucking in the air.
"Just feeling a little off. That's all." I replied, looking up at the ceiling.
Cal raised his brow, reaching over and touching my shoulder.
"Listen, JJ. If there's something wrong, you can trust me. I won't tell a soul."
I tried to suck in the tears but they spilled out anyway. The room was empty, and I couldn't help myself from blabbering the words.
"I'm pregnant, Cal." I mumbled, breaking out into a sob. Cal kept his grip on my shoulder.
"Hey, hey, isn't that suppose to be a good thing? You and big boss love each other, don't you?"
I stared at him with a blank face.
"No...no...listen. If I tell you something...will you prom-"
Cal interrupted me. "Yes. Yes. Of course. I won't tell anybody."
I paused, trying to think of how to word my next sentence.
"I was going to leave. Richard and I were both going to leave...Richard wanted to find his wife and I, to be honest, just wanted out of this place...I wanted to leave and now I'm pregnant and I just don't know what to do."
Cal is quiet for a while, then he finally speaks.
"Well you can't leave now. Your baby needs a roof over it's head?"
I nodded, sighing loudly.
"So when are you going to tell him? I mean, the father. How do you think boss will react?"
I stare off into the distance. I can't answer, because honestly, I don't know.

The binds around my wrists are tight. They dig into my skin with every movement. Dried blood stains the plastic binary as move my wrist up against the pole.
"You're gonna have to let us go sooner or later." Rick growls, his eyes locked on his wrists, which are also tied together.
"You see," the pregnant woman spits, "I don't."
Rick gazes over at me. He looks calm and still. I continue to pull at the binds on my wrist. It took them two seconds to put it on me, so they couldn't have been too strong.
"You're the owners of this warehouse, aren't you?" The tall man who put a gun to my head says. He's old and scruffy looking, with shaggy grey hair and a long beard.
"N-" Rick begins.
"Yes." I interrupt.
"So then you can get us into that storage room back there, can't you?" The woman taunts.
I smirk at her, watching as Rick susses me out. He doesn't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing.
"I can, but hey, my hands are tied together."
I wasn't about to trick a pregnant woman into letting me go free only to stab her with a screwdriver or anything. I hadn't killed a human yet and I wasn't about to start with a pregnant woman. But damn, I sure could pick my moments, couldn't I.

Either way, Rick's group would notice us having been gone for so long. It was only a matter of time before they showed, I just had to stall. I think Rick knew that too.

"Whatever's in there is ours now." She growls, rubbing her stomach like they do in the movies. I raise my brow at her.
"And what if I won't allow you to take it?" I taunt. She scowls at me.
"Then I'll kill your partner."
I glance over to Rick, who's expression can be summed up as 'pissed'.
"Your choice." The pregnant woman adds.
I look at her stomach. Inside, is a tiny human. How funny.
"You're doing it for that thing inside you, right?" I taunt. "You're going to take us hostage and force us to give you all of our food just so you can feed that spawn inside you?"
She sighs.
"I do what I have to do."
"Get use to it, momma." I smirk, glaring at her. "Cause as soon as it comes out, you're gonna have to be doing a lot worse than this. If you die, it dies. If it dies, you die. Kinda funny, huh. This is the easiest it's ever going to be for you."
The woman doesn't say anything. She must know that my words are true. I know this better than anyone else. I was a trained nurse, with a bachelor in midwifery- and if there was one thing I knew while with Tarzan's camp, it was how much a kid changed everything.

Stalling. Somehow, I had to stall so that we could be ready. Ready for Maggie, Rosita, Michonne. They were coming. They had to be.
I look up at the man bellowing in front of me. He seems effected by everything I'm saying as well.
"He the father?" I ask her, nodding at him.
He shakes his head.
"The husband. Not the father."
And although Rick is quiet with no interactions with our captors, I don't hesitate to use this to my advantage.
"Damn. That's gotta hurt." I exclaim, feeling a slight loosening on the binds around my wrist.
"Listen up, bitch. I'm going to give you the count of ten. You answer me on whether or not you are gonna co-operate and open that door or I blow both of ya' brains out."
I breath out.
"One..."
"Fine. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll take you. Come on." I hiss.
The man grabs me, taking his knife and pressing it against the binds. I gasp as my hands come free, aching from the binds.
He grabs me with force, yanking me away.
I take one look back at Rick before he pulls me through another room, connected to the one Rick is getting held in. I squirm, watching the hallways that he pulls me through.
The very big door at the end. That's our destination.
He pulls me up to the door and let's go of me. I grin, rolling my back and glancing up at him.
"I've got to get the spare key." I tell him, bending down by the door. I reach underneath the door with one hand, and curl my other into a fist.

I take a deep breath, sensing the man step closer. I then snap up, throwing myself back onto him. He stumbles, caught by surprise. Either way, he comes crashing to the ground. I crawl on top of him, taking his neck in my hands and squeezing. He reaches his hands up to my neck as well, strangling me. Now it's just a race between who passes out first and this guy has a hard grip.
I squeeze harder, hearing him choke on saliva in response. Black dots cloud my vision as I squeeze into his throat. His face is purple now.

This is who I am. This is what my journey leads to.

His hands fall to the ground and I finally let go, falling by his side and gasping for breath, chocking on the air that comes through.
As I gather my consciousness back, I reach over, feeling his pulse.
He's alive.

Okay.
I breath out, helping myself up. As I stand up, I take both my gun and Rick's gun from the unconscious man.

Then, after gathering my breath, I make my way back down the hallway, entering the room with Rick and holding my gun up.

The pregnant woman looks to me, her face going from surprised to pissed.
"What did you do, bitch! Did you kill him?" She exclaims, her hand still swirling around her belly in little circles.
I point the gun at her.
"I told you not to call me bitch." I grit, kneeling down by Rick and untying his restraints. I pass him his gun once he's free.
"You killed him. Didn't you?!" She shouts at me. I turn around, inspecting the tears that trickle down her face.
"Oh my god. No. I didn't. Chill out." And just as the woman goes to take a sigh of relief, I hit my gun against her head. It's hard, so hard that I'm shocked.
She falls forward and I catch her, gently easing her onto the ground.
"There." I breath out, stepping back. "She'll wake up in an hour or so."
"And what about the man. Did you kill him?" I snap my head back, analysing Rick. Just like usual, his expression is unreadable and I can't figure out what emotions he's feeling.
"No. I didn't." I dust myself off, glancing down at the knocked out pregnant woman.
"Do you wanna go bust open that door they were talking about?" I ask him. He nods, leaving the room. After I've watched the pregnant woman's chest rise and fall a few times, I leave, following after Rick.

I find him in front of the unconscious man, kneeling down by the door and picking the lock.
"I have to say, for a while back there I thought you were insane." He calls out, facing the door. I lean against the wall.
"Thing about these days- people don't want people alive. They were going to kill us if they figured out we had nothing to offer. Couldn't let that happen."
Rick finishes up picking the lock and opens the door. Inside, are boxes.

He kneels down by the box, scanning the label.
"Great." He sighs, standing up. "This ain't food. It's paint supplies."
I smile to myself. Not because in any way this is funny, it's just because it represents so much of who we are. We fight for things we aren't even certain of. Two people were knocked out over uncertainty that there might be food behind a locked door. Desperation made us do crazy things.
In a glimmer of a second, Rick smiles too.
"Let's head back before those two idiots wake up." He replies, leaving the room.
"Let's? You sure you want me coming back with you?"
Rick looks back at me, a smile on his face.
"Yeah. I'm sure."

Little bit of a mirror chapter for Feartwd. Are you guys liking it so far???
-Jo x