The Anti Hero ⥤ Rick Grimes

[8] Here's Not Here

I wiped at my tear streaked cheek, holding onto the metal bar so tightly my knuckles went white.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Richard asked, holding the gate with me.
"I have to, Rich. I have to."
Richard nodded his head, opening up the gate.
"I understand, JJ. Don't let me see you here again. Promise me you won't get yourself caught. Be smart." He hissed. I smiled at Richard, hugging him one last time before departing at the gate.
With just the moonlight as my guide, I voyaged into the night.
Then, even if it only lasted for a few months, I was free.

The group doesn't keep their discussions about me to a minimum. They don't care that I have ears, they still discuss freely about me and ponder over what my motives are.

After Rick and I returned, they had all been gearing up to come in after us. When Rick told them all what had happened and how I had saved him, they all pretty much stared at me.
"You have no excuses now." Rick told me, walking alongside of me. "You're part of us."

And I noticed that everyone began warming up to me. If I'd drop behind they'd stay behind with me, and they were making an effort to get to know me.

As much as it was a different experience, I still felt something I'd never felt before. This was a group so loving and caring yet scarred by this world. I thought that surviving this long meant that there were no good people left- but I was wrong. Rick's group had done bad things, of course, but they did it for good reasons. That was something I'd never seen before.

For a while, the thought of Tarzan catching up to me felt so surreal. I was with a group now. I was in a group and I could do anything. I was invincible.

These people had been to hell and back. Now, I was going to be joining them on whatever there next adventure was and that...well...that excited me. Funnily enough, I never heard Rick tell anyone about Tarzan. You'd think this would be a major thing and with a smart guy like Rick, you'd think he'd care a lot about what kind of baggage his group members carried around. None the less, he didn't seem bothered at all, which put me to ease.

It takes another night before anything happens, and when it does, it's unexpected. I walk alongside Rick and Carl, carrying a gun I probably wouldn't ever use in my hand. The screams are louder than the subtle chatter amongst Rick's group. Clearly and panic stricken, someone from far in the forest shouts.

"Help! Somebody! HELP!"

I jump forward, goosebumps rising on my skin from the sound of someone in desperate need for help. That, or a very good actor is pulling off a difficult trap.

"Dad! Come on?" Carl urges his father, stepping forward. Rick glances over at me and I nod, branching forward and venturing towards the sound of the noise. Both Rick and Carl follow after me. I don't exactly understand why Rick is caring so much about what I think of the situation. I think he's still figuring out the way my mind works and the way I think.

Through the clearing, the sound of walker moans intwine themselves with the cries for help. I reach for my knife, cursing at its absence.

Once I find the source, with Carl and Rick and the rest behind me, I see a man atop a big rock, with four walkers reaching for him.

I reach for the closest walker, dragging him back as the others attack the remaining walkers. The walker I have stumbles back, crashing to the ground. I take my gun, using its butt to smash into the walkers head. Once it's done, I stand up, wiping away the guts from the gun.

"It's clear," Rick calls out. "Keep watch."

I breath out, changing my focus to the man on top of the rock.