101 Ways To Kill A Cat

Episode Twenty-Seven

A warning to the weak-hearted readers:

This is not for the weak-hearted readers.

Bumblestar: *clears throat* Hello, and welcome to Episode 27 of 101 Ways to Murder a Cat!

Camera Cat: It's kill a cat, not murder. Again!

Bumblestar: *grumbles* Fine. Hello, and welcome to Episode 27 of 101 Ways to Kill a Feline!

Camera Cat: *shakes head* No, no, no, no. Not feline. It's supposed to be 'cat'! Next take!

Bumblestar: Okay. *straightens nonexistent tie* Hello, and welcome to Episode 26 of 101 Ways to-

Camera Cat: Alright, that's it, I'm cutting 48 dead Millie meat hamburgers from your daily salary!

Bumblestar: *whimpers* But how am I supposed to survive on only 72 a day?

Camera Cat: Well, if you want the entire salary, then do your damn thing!

Bumblestar: Meh. Fine. Hello, and welcome to Episode 27 of 101 Ways to Kill a Cat! Today, we'll be doing a collaboration with-

Brambleclaw: Wait, we're Youtubers now?

Bumblestar: Well, yeah. Didn't you check our channel? We've got- *takes out iPhone 6+* - 26 million subscribers now. Oh wait, it just jumped to 27 now. It goes up a million with every episode, you know-

Camera Cat: WOULD YOU TWO JUST SHADDAP AND GET ON WITH THE SHOW?

Bumblestar: Fine, fine, fine, what is it with you today? Anyways, so today, we're going to be working with some renowned, amazingly smart, and exceptional people! They are-

Brambleclaw: *somehow manages to get into a criss-cross applesauce position and starts drumrolling*

Bumblestar -the Discovery Channel! *disco lights start flashing and fake applause is played in the background*

Discovery Channel Guys: *walks onto stage* Hello there! *start disco dancing*

Bumblestar: *watches*

Discovery Channel Guys: *disco dance*

Brambleclaw: *watches*

Discovery Channel Guys: *disco dance*

Cloudtail: *watches*

Discovery Channel Guys: *disco dance*

Camera Cat: *watches*

Discovery Channel Guys: *disco dance*

Briarlight: *watches*

Bumblestar: Alright, uh, I think we should-

Brambleclaw: No! Let me watch...*eyes begin to glow with shine of fangirlism*

Bumblestar: Uh...okay, well, WOULD YOU STOP DANCING ALREADY?

Discovery Channel Guys: *stop dancing* *look at camera*

Discovery Channel Guy #1: I'm Paul!

Discovery Channel Guy #2: I'm Dave!

Discovery Channel Guy #3: *slow-mo hair flip* And I'm Bob.

Bumblestar: Alright then, uh, now that our guests have introduced themselves-

Bob: Today, we're going to be doing a live dissection of a cat. Isn't that wonderful? *flashes smile*

Brambleclaw: *slow nod* Yessss...

Bumblestar: Alright, how about you guys go get your...uh...equipment ready?

Dave: Okay.

Discovery Channel Guys: *walk off and begin dragging tables and sharp looking instruments onto stage*

Bumblestar: Okay, then. So yes, we will be killing a cat today by the means of live dissection! And of course, that cat shall be the one and only - Millie! *turns to Discovery Channel Guys* Are you done yet?

Paul: *sets down scalpel on operating table and pulls mask over face* All done!

Bumblestar: And that's your cue, Briarlight!

Briarlight: *drags self to Paul*

Paul: *picks up Briarlight and sets on table*

Dave: *lifts knife*

Briarlight: Help!

Millie: *is talking to Daisy, slow-mo turn* Briiiarrrrlliiiiighhhhtt? *takes leap through time and space to Briarlight* My daughter!

Briarlight: *pushes self off table*

Bob: *grabs Millie*

Bumblestar: Carried out perfectly, Briarlight.

Briarlight: *tries to bow and falls on face due to lack of working hind legs*

Millie: Uh, hello, twolegs in masks?

Bob: *evil smirk*

*two minutes later*

Bumblestar: *winces at screams coming from Millie* Ooh.

Brambleclaw: Ow. *slicing sound* Oh my.

Cloudtail: Why am I watching this?

Bumblestar: Oh-oh-oh-look, I think she's dying.

Millie: *dies*

Bumblestar: And she's dead! I hope you've enjoyed this episode of 101 Ways to Kill a Cat.

Discovery Channel Guys: *wave bloody scalpels* Bye!

Hallo there. :3 That was newbie admin Duskie's debut right there.