The Bucket List [boyxboy]

Chapter Six

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Well, Carly was right.

Later

I hate everyone.

Later later

Do not ask me how I made it through school today, because I won't be able to answer you. Possibly my body employed whatever mechanism it is by which zombies survive.

Literally even writing is hard. Why did I have to choose to write a journal with a pen and actual paper? What is wrong with me? Why couldn't I type it up on a word processor like a normal Millennial? I need a nap just for having written this paragraph.

Ugggghhhhhhhhh.

Okay. Here goes.

So. I got up and pretended to my oblivious mother like I was going to school like normal, but instead I met the others at the bus stop and we got the bus out to the canyon. Carly and Abby and Lewis were all complaining about how they'd had to get their parents off their backs by lying because everyone's mom was like 'Looks like rain today, are you sure you don't want a ride in?' and me and Anita were just like 'Single working moms, yo!' and high-fived.

This is how I can get away with having strange boys in my room and Anita can get away with her drug habit.

Anyway, then we all kind of looked at Byron who was staring out the window because we realised we didn't know much about his family and Lewis was like, 'What about you, dude?' and Byron just sort of smiled and kept looking out the window and said, 'Oh, my parents don't really... Notice.'

Which is like, major wtf. He's dying and they're not paying any attention to him??? I swear this kid gets more tragic everything new I find out about him.

So we all just kind of exchanged glances because that made shit pretty awkward for a couple of seconds until Anita was all, 'So, have you been to the canyon before, Byron?' and he shook his head and said, 'I'm having a lot of first times today,' and I won't deny it, I'm a goddamn pervert, because yeah, my brain went straight to the sex place.

So.

Anyway, we finally got off the bus and Lewis led the way down the trail because his family is all "rah-rah nature hike kayak snowboard deep-sea-dive" and he's way more experienced than the rest of us. Abby fell like three times and her hand started bleeding and she just kind of stared at it all wide-eyed like, 'This is gonna be interesting once I start tripping.'

It took like an hour before we got to Raisinberry Meadow, which is hidden in the heart of the canyon and isn't really much of a meadow because it has, like, no flowers. Just grass. But whatever, it's still pretty as fuck, especially when the sun is out and the sky is blue, which it was yesterday, despite what everyone's mom had said about rain.

Anita got the vial and dropper out and Abby and Carly started setting up the portable iPhone dock they'd brought with them so they could play some music and Lewis laid out some towels for us all to sit on and I glanced at Byron and he looked kind of nervous so I asked him all quietly if he was okay and he took a deep breath and asked, 'You'll stay with me if it goes bad right?' and I was all frowning like, 'Yeah, of course dude, I'm not going anywhere.'

So Carly and Abby took turns dropping for each other, and then Anita and Lewis, and then Anita handed the vial to Byron and I took the dropper out and he tilted his head back and stuck out his tongue a bit and I put my other hand on his chin to keep his head steady and, like, it would have been real easy to just, you know, kiss him instead.

Which is a stupid thing to think about. And I really shouldn't ever let my head go to that place. Because. You know.

Anyway, I squeezed a couple drops onto his tongue and then he did the exact same for me, you know, with his hand on my face and everything, and yeah, I really need to STOP letting my head go to that place.

Byron was like, 'How long does it take for this stuff to work?'

And I was like, 'About an hour.'

So Abby and Carly put some super chill music on and we all lay on the towels on our backs and stared up at the sky and at some point I noticed that Byron was shaking beside me and I looked over at him and he was laughing, laughing so hard that tears were leaking out of the corners of his eyes, and that set me off, and soon we were all howling with laughter, at everything, because everything was hilarious.

Eventually we all sat up and Anita looked at me and grinned and said, 'Dude, you're melting,' and I brought my hands up to my face and stared back at her and she was melting too. Everything was. But it was okay.

I mean, I know I keep saying hallucinogenics aren't my thing, and they really aren't, but doing them out there, in the canyon, with the grass and the wind rustling through the leaves of the trees and Byron humming happily beside me?

Yeah, that was okay.

Byron was like, 'This is so weird, I can fall into it and pull myself back out of it again. I can control it. I can be it.'

And then I said, 'Be everything,' which of course makes no fucking sense but seemed really deep at the time.

Abby and Carly started frolicking because, you know, hippy lesbian bullshit, and Anita was being all introspective because she's a hardened drug connoisseur and Lewis was touching fucking everything, including my hair for a while, which, whatever, I was tripping balls so I didn't mind too much, but still. And I was laying beside Byron on the towels staring up at the clouds skidding across the sky through the leaves for who knows how long until suddenly we both sat bolt upright at the same time.

Byron pointed at the sky and was like, 'Is that REAL?' and everyone stared up and yeah, it was definitely real; the clouds we'd been watching had turned dark and heavy and within seconds - or hours, who the hell knows - fat drops of water had started falling and we all rushed back to sit around the trunk of one of the trees for shelter as the sky opened and it rained, hard, down on top of us.

Abby and Carly were screaming, 'Oh my GOD!' over and over again but Byron started laughing again and stood up and ran back out in the centre of the meadow and stared upwards and spun around slowly a couple of times. So I jumped up too and ran out to join him and the rain had wetted his t-shirt right through and plastered his hair to his forehead and I just caught him by the shoulders and oh, god, I wanted to kiss him so bad, and we just kind of stared at each other and we were both panting a little and he smiled at me really slowly but I knew I couldn't, so I just looked right up at the sky and so did he and we laughed a bit more and sank down onto the grass and laid on our backs in the wet mud and let it rain on us and it felt amazing.

It was only a quick shower, it passed after a little while (I think, anyway) which is good, because otherwise we'd probably all get pneumonia, and we lay in a circle in the centre of the meadow with ours heads all close together, thinking about stuff, and then Byron lifted his hand straight up and started drawing something in the air with his finger and after a he did this a few times I realised it was a figure eight - eternity.

So, I dunno why, but I did it too. And then so did Anita. And then so did everyone else. And then Byron joined his hand with mine and we drew one together.

And then we had to hike back up out of the canyon.

And get on a bus.

And come home.

And try to pretend like we'd been in school all day.

And actually go to school today.

And I think the acid might have rendered Byron a little bit insane because today's doodles were just dozens and dozens of figure eights all over the margins of my book.

I kind of like it though.