The Bucket List [boyxboy]

Chapter Nine

Friday, March 18, 2016

Just as I suspected, nobody has a life at this school, but now instead of talking about Anita everyone is talking about me.

I mean, they're still talking about Anita, because of course they are, because you can't just un-slut yourself, even when somebody smashes a can of orange soda into Other Anita's forehead and leaves a mark so deep it lasts for two days.

Like, she still has the seed of that jock festering inside her.

I mean, metaphorically. Even Anita isn't stupid enough to fuck a guy without a condom.

I hope, because ew baby. ESPECIALLY ew jock baby.

Like, I fully don't want to have to spend a Saturday holding Anita's hand at the abortion clinic.

But now people are a lot more interested in talking about how I ASSAULTED A WOMAN, which I maintain I didn't.

I mean, okay, I did.

Kind of.

But it was mostly in self defence.

Better, it was in defence of ANOTHER WOMAN. Which should really even things out imo.

Also I swear Other Anita has been using red lipstick to make the mark on her forehead look like it's lasting longer, because that is exactly the kind of sneaky shit that bitches called Anita are crafty enough to pull. I know, because I checked with Anita. I was like, 'Would you?' And she confirmed that she fully would.

Whatever. Carly and Abby say that being called a slut is worse than being called a misogynist and that all men are inherently misogynistic just by existing in a capitalist patriarchal society in which we passively benefit from the oppression of women so I shouldn't even be offended because nothing has changed materially, I'm just getting called out on it now.

Even Anita was like, stfu you psychos.

Later

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

I'm sitting outside Mr Chadwick's office again and I bet I know what's about to go down because Other Anita and a woman who looked like Other Anita plus about thirty eight years and a smoking habit just walked out of there looking smug af, and my mother isn't here to Amazonian Warrior Woman his ass this time so I'm basically fucked.

Later Later

Yeah, I'm fucked.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Guess where I am.

Guess.

You can't, because you're an inanimate fucking object, so I'll just tell you: detention.

That's right.

Weekend detention.

After-school detention wasn't enough for Other Anita and Other Anita's Mother (Mother Anita?) so now I have weekend detention to contend with as well.

Until the end of the month.

You know what that means?

A bunch of shit. It means my own mother had to be talked out of figuratively burning down my school. (I wouldn't have bothered if she'd wanted to literally burn it down. Hello, no school for however long it takes to rebuild a school. Also they'd put my mother in prison and I'd get to go into the foster system and maybe get adopted by like a cool black couple who watch foreign language films and have an adopted Chinese daughter who is a concert cellist.)