I Hate You, I Love You

Chapter 4: Try to be her Friend

Present-Day
{James Pov}

"C'mon, Prongs, don't frown on us!" Sirius exclaims. "Sorry." I mumble. I can feel Marlene's eyes on the back of my head. I have been avoiding Lily all week, and it sure has been hard! "You don't sound sorry." Remus comments. "He's right." Peter tells me.

I try to concentrate on the notes we are supposed to be taking, but I get a note from Marlene. It reads: 'Why are you mad at Lily? She says she didn't do anything.'  I don't respond. Why should I? I don't think Lily meant to hurt me, and I will always like her, but I hate pretending. I hate acting like everything is a joke, that I am a joke. That's all Lily thinks of me as, a joke, a fraud, an egotistical toe-rag.

   Present-Day
   {Lily Pov}

'You don't care, Lily. You're happy that he is ignoring you. You hate him.' I tell myself as he ignores my attempt at a simple 'hello.'

"Okay, Potter, you can ignore me all you want to. Fine, don't talk to me! But we have patrol together, so you're going to have to come with me." I say. He just looks at me and, for a second, I think that I might have to go on patrol alone. Then he stands up and leads the way out of the room. We walk in awkward silence for a while, our footsteps echoing down the empty hallway.

"I can't stand this, Evans." James finally breaks the silence. "What?" I ask softly. "Not talking to you." "Who's fault is that?" I mutter sarcastically. "Both of ours, really. I wasn't talking to you because I thought that's what you wanted. You hate me. You hurt me, Evans. I just want you to say 'yes', even if it's just once." I'm silent. Do I hate him? Of course, I do. "Lily?" he says cautiously. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "What?" "I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." "How else am I supposed to feel?" he asks, raising his voice slightly? "Maybe you could try to see things from my side! Maybe you could try and understand that I've had to deal with your pranks since first year, I've had to deal with you pestering me nonstop. You asked me out every single day! You can't act like you wouldn't have gotten annoyed if that happened to you!" I argue. "You loved it." James whispers. "No, I didn-" I begin, before James grabs my waist and pulls me into a fierce kiss.

It lasts for a long time, and when we finally pull away, he says, "That's one thing we don't fight about." I glare at him, "You were right about me hating you." "You kissed back." James comments with a grin. "Did not!" I argue. "And now we are fighting again." 
I stomp away and lock myself in my room. Not long later, Potter knocks. I ignore him.

As I drift to sleep, I battle with my thoughts. 'I hate James Bloody Potter. He stole my first kiss. And I hate myself. Because I liked it.'

Present-Day
{James Pov}

"Evans! Evans, stop ignoring me! It's time to wake up!" No response. "Please, I'm not leaving without you!" No response. I knock on the door, "I'm coming in!" No response. I open the door with caution in case she starts yelling at me. She is asleep. I lean over her so our noses are almost touching and say, "It's time to wake up." Her eyes fly open, and she immediately pushes me away from her. "What, don't like being so close, Evans?" I ask. "Get out." she replies stiffly, pointing at the door. I leave and hear the shower running. She comes into the common room with her hair wet.

I walk into my room and she waits outside the door. "Coming in?" I ask. "I'd rather not." she replies. I grab her hand and pull her into the room. "Sit on the bed." I say. She sits on the bed as she asks, "Why?" I grab a towel and lean over her. "I'm going to help with your hair this time. You can think of it as repayment." I tell her. "Thanks." she replies to my stomach because it is right in line with her face. "Don't mention it." I reply. "Trust me, I won't." Lily assures me with an eye roll. "Yes you will. You'll be telling everyone about how hard my abs are." I tell her. "But I'm not even touching your a-" Lily protests, stopping when I put her hand on my abs. She lingers for a second, before pulling away. "You liked it, Evans." I say with a grin. "I most certainly did not." Lily replies, crossing her arms over her chest.