I Never Believed (not edited)

5

The last time he made me dinner he told me that he was going in to hospital to have surgery. When he told me he was acting strange, he was more worried for me than he way about himself. He didn't want me to be upset or scared for him. Today though, right now, he seems more nervous about telling me and less worried about how I will react. I don't know if that should make me more or less nervous.

"Sit. Watch. Learn" I give him a push towards the stools and get on with cooking dinner. As much as I want to post pone the bad news, I need to know it. I put the radio on in the kitchen but turn it down low so I can still hear the forced, awkward conversation Oscar is trying to have.

As I'm plating up dinner Oscar disappears to what looks like the cellar. I walk over to the dinner table with the plates, the food smells so good that I'm swallowing every few seconds. Oscar returns with two wine glasses and a bottle of white wine. I smile at him softly. The poor thing looks like he's seen a ghost. I guess he realises once dinner is over he has to spill.
I take the cutlery out from the kitchen and lay it messily around the plates.

While we're eating dinner I tell him all about my day at school, what a shame it is that he doesn't go with me. I could really use his help against Nick and Cory and Quinn, they're just bad and rude with out a cause. I would also like to rub him in the face of Valenica Carbuncle and her annoying posse, Aiden Stride and Sophie Gosling.
Aiden's nose was too big for her face, Valencia liked to keep her around because it made her nose look more proportional. Sophie blindly did what Valencia said, she wasn't the brightest girl but that didn't mean she couldn't make your life living hell.

We finished dinner, it was as good as it smelt, not tooting my own horn or anything. I only had one glass of wine, Oscar was on his third. No one was speaking, there was something I wasn't planning on bringing up and he clearly didn't want to either. We must have been sitting there for 15 minutes in undisputed silence. We were both off, lost in our minds until I realised that for majority of the 15 minutes I was over thinking about what he wants to tell me.

"Oscar. Just like a bandaid. Rip it off." I was looking straight at him but his eyes didn't move from the couch in front of us. There was a short silence but Oscar started rubbing his hands over his chin and mouth letting out 'umms' and 'ahhs' and occasional 'nos'. He put his elbows on the table and dropped his head, his fingers intertwining in his hair. He let out a soft, annoyed groan before finally saying, "alright".

"Months ago I entered a competition for a scholarship. You know this because not only did you encourage it but you helped me complete it. It was months ago and I'm not suprised if you've forgotten all about it."
He paused and looked at me. His knuckles were going white and his eyes were jumping around my face. "well at the beginning of last month I found out I won it. I talked to Mr Collins about it and he asked me if I read all the information on it, he also told me, Fiona, that I had two weeks to decide if I wanted to go through with it. You always told me that you'd never stand in the way of my future. You encouraged me to do what I wanted first then think about you later. As hard as it was I did that."
Oscar was having trouble breathing and so was I. My first thought was that he cheated on me with someone from the scholarship which for the record he was right about, I had forgotten all about it. His eyes were becoming wet and his body was starting to shake.

"I accepted the scholarship which is what everyone told me to do, and you would have as well but there was one detail we didn't read about when we applied months back. Something I left out when I asked people if I should go because I didn't want that to effect my decision. It's a great opportunity no matter where it is"
Oh. There is my first clue. 'Where it is'. I start to feel my eyes filling with tears. I can feel my throat growing tighter and I can see Oscar finding it just as hard to tell me.

"The scholarship is overseas. A 17 hour plane trip away. I get to finish high school and I'm already guaranteed a spot at a really great university. I would be stupid to turn it down."

I laughed. It wasn't funny but that's how I cope. If it's too awkward or uncomfortable or I don't know how to react I laugh. I wipe the tears off my cheek with the back of my hand and sigh just a little.

"That's really good for you. And you're absolutely right. Turning it down would be stupid." I pause and start to think what this means for us, for me and Oscar, for our relationship. He must have been thinking the same thing.
"Does this mean we're-"
"No. It doesn't. But I couldn't ask you to wait three years for me."
"Well thank you for a lovely last night." A tear rolled down my cheek. I almost felt selfish crying, he's not mine. I can't keep him here. This scholarship is he's he needs, where he needs to be.

"Hey hey hey. I'm not leaving for another few weeks -"
"Oscar, there's no point delaying the unenviable. The longer I delay putting it off, the longer it will be before I'm over you."
"Why do you want to move on so suddenly?"
"I think you should leave. Thank you for everything you've done and been for me in the past year. I'll miss you." I place a small kiss on his cheek and take both the plates back to the kitchen. I can see him still sitting there. I know he's deciding if he should respect my wishes or fight a little harder.
He makes his decision, he stands up and walks out the door with no goodbye, thank you no nothing.

Goodbye and good luck, Oscar Durante.
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Valenica Carbuncle ^

Sophie Gosling

Aiden stride