Translucent (Solangelo AU)

1. Get Me Out of this Cage

I was not excited, to say the least. I had been waiting for this day my entire life, but now that it was finally here, I wanted to crawl into my sheets and sink through my mattress. I know I should be excited; this is supposed to be the best part of growing up, but I just couldn't bring myself to it. In approximately one week, five hours, twenty-three minutes and fifteen seconds, I would leave with all the other eighteen year olds to hand in my Partner application. And in return, I would be granted a lifelong lover. A woman. For some reason, that was the worst part of all, and I didn't even know why.

I used to get excited whenever I thought of my Partner, back when I was a young, eager child. I would repeatedly beg my mother to recount me the stories of how she received my dad. My mother, you see, was a very precise woman. She had to have every detail sketched to perfection, no matter how long it took. Which is how, typically, she ended up with her Partner a year later than everyone else. He didn't seem all that different from the rest, but Mother was convinced he was twice as potent, and that we were the same, being their children and all. Maybe that's why I was starting to have these strange thoughts. Not that it mattered; there was nothing I could do about it. I was trapped in that made up world just as everyone else was.

I always tended to wonder how things were before. Before the wars and the revolutions and all the history we've lost throughout the years. How New America was when it was just America. Would I still have to wake up tomorrow and give myself away to a stranger? Start a family? My sister Bianca tells me that I shouldn't question it and that things are as they are for a reason. I know she's right; she always is, but there's always that sliver of doubt, taunting me when it pleases yet leaving no positive alternative to save me from myself. It only got worse the closer I got to my big day. I was doomed, left at the mercy of my own brain and made fit for the manipulations of our twisted society.

I shook my head, dissipating all my thoughts midair and moving them straight to the vault. I was really due for a new lock on that thing. Mind clear and spirits lifted somewhat, I dragged my ass out of bed and teetered towards my bathroom, still half asleep.

By some great and mysterious force, my legs carried me to my shower and I undressed before letting the cold water wash over me. A low breath escaped my lips and I leaned my forehead against the cold wall, letting my eyes flutter shut. The familiar liquid trickled down my spine but I hardly noticed. One more week. One more week and I won't have to wait after that. One more week until my life changed completely. I could handle one more week.

There was a pounding knock at the door and I quickly scrambled out of the shower, knowing that whoever was on the other side would open the door and see me at my most vulnerable. I always spent way too much time in there anyway. "One moment," I grumbled as I tied my towel around my waist and shook the water out of my hair. Apparently one moment was too much to ask.

"Come on, Neeks," Bianca pushed open the door and I crossed my arms over my thin chest, giving her a pointed gaze. She rolled her eyes and raised her arms in surrender, calling to me as she turned to leave, "Hurry up, would you? I'm driving you to school."

I stopped the door with my bare foot, nudging it open before she could get away. "I can drive myself, you know."

"I need the car. Errands." With that, she walked away, leaving me my privacy.

Bianca had come home for my birthday as she had every year since she left, bringing her Partner and daughter every time. I never minded, though. He made my sister happy and that's all he needed to win me over. Though, I guess it was a bonus that he always brought awesome gifts, too. I had to admit, he's a pretty cool guy. Their daughter Elin was always making me laugh, her smile illuminated an entire room and thawed my frozen heart. Her resemblance to her mother was so close that it was almost frightening. She could practically be a mini Bianca.