Translucent (Solangelo AU)

13. And Then There Was Nothing

I sprung up in bed, a loud gasp escaping my chapped lips as my vision swam in and out of darkness. Everywhere I turned, spots filled the space between my vision and reality, people and forms and figures and shapes scurrying in and out of focus, dancing across my mind with nothing but a fleeting memory of what might not be real. My fingers feel and look longer and slimmer than usual, my feet bare and filthy. I have been through the woods and back only there are no woods. Just fire. But the fire was fleeting, too, fleeting and surreal. I am fleeting and surreal.

I wanted to lie back, to bury my head in a mass of pillows and sheets. I wanted to pull my knees to my chest and stick my thumb between my teeth to stop them from chattering and slip my toes through the rough earth. I was immobilized. In fact, I didn't even know where I was.

"Hello?" I asked, listening to my voice over and over again as it echoed through the emptiness that surrounded me. It wasn't necessarily directed at anyone, it's simply a relief to hear my own voice sometimes, even when it's not entirely mine.

"Hellohellohellohello."

Again.

And again.

Until it stopped, and I was surrounded by my own silence again. I closed my eyes, counting up and down from twenty, the total of fingers and toes I have. You know it's not real if you don't have the right amount.

I opened my eyes to find bright blue eyes, the ones that reminded me of the water. Except they didn't belong to the right person. "Will?"

My voice didn't echo anymore. There was no redundant background noises to send me into folly, no invisible aura present to taunt me. Just blue. Focused. Unfocused. Treacherous.

"Are you all right, Nico? You hit your head pretty hard." The eyes spoke, but I saw no lips, nor nose, nor forehead or cheekbones. All I knew was that whoever it was, they were none too familiar. Much too monotone to even resemble the energy I had become accustomed to. I can't say I wasn't disappointed.

"I—No—I mean yes—I mean, where is he? W-ill—Where's—" My fists are clenched so hard that I can feel the dull blades of my nails press against the skin of my palms. "I need to see him," I said, sounding small, my apple bobbing as I swallowed, my eyes wide and broken. Kind of like if it was pouring rain and I was trapped in a car with broken windshield wipers. When you depend on someone, do they become your windshield wipers? I'd like to think so, but blocking out rain doesn't stop it from falling.

"Nico?"

I slowly lifted my chin, tilting it so my gaze was now focused on the window instead of the stranger with the blue sea at their command. "You can tell me. I'm a big boy; whatever it is, I can handle it."

"Do you—" he paused, running his tongue over his teeth, his energy telling me that he'd rather be anywhere but there. "Nico, do you remember what happened?"

We have to go. Now.
Neeks.
Neeks.
Please. We need to go now.
I'll explain later.

"No," I breathed, my head snapping back towards his. "All I remember are sirens, the ugly kind, the kind that meant danger..." My hands fell into my lap, battered palms glaring at ceiling, then myself, glaring down at them. "There was something else, wasn't there?"

There was no answer. I didn't have to look up to know he was staring at me. Waiting and watching and worrying, for what, I don't know, but it didn't matter. His hesitation was enough to tell me what I knew but didn't remember, or what I might not even know. The worst part was, he knew, he knew, and his pity turned my blood sour. I was sour and he was but blood.