Face Down In The Dirt

Tell Yourself It's Never Gonna Happen Again

He fell asleep quickly and I gently got up and started making breakfast. I didn't know what she liked, so I decided to make a few different things. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, oatmeal.... I don't know.

I started mixing the batter for the pancakes but was distracted by my phone. It was a text from an unknown number, saying only "Give him back, he was fine with me." I tried to brush it off, but I couldn't get it from the back of my mind. I finished and put the pancakes on a plate, peeking over the bar to see Dan still sleeping. I smiled and continued.

I made the eggs and bacon, and microwaved some instant oatmeal. I started setting the table, then laid out the food in the middle. I also laid out sugar, milk, tea, syrup, and orange juice. I walked over to the couch and slowly shook him awake, steering clear of his hands. "Dan. Daniel. Danny. Get up, it's time for breakfast." I said softly. He groaned and sat up slowly. He tipped his nose up and smelled the food, quickly hopping up and looking into the dining room.

"Phil..." He was really surprised. I softly hugged him and felt his ribs through his shirt. I held his hands and guided him to the table. He didn't serve himself, so I started filling his plate for him. "Thank you, Phil." He looked like he was going to cry. I sat next to him and slowly filled my plate. I poured us both some tea. "One or two sugars? Do you want cream?" He only nodded in response, so I just put in cream and one sugar cube.

He was smiling, but not eating. I scooted my chair closer to his. He rubbed his head against my shoulder like a needy cat. I started slowly feeding him and he seemed fine with it.

About an hour later, he got up abruptly. "Dan?" I said, confused.

"I need to go back home, Phil. I need to be there when he gets back."

I sighed for a really long time. "Why?"

" 'cause." was the only response. I sighed. "Dan... You can't just go back there. It.. It's not safe." He just barely raised his voice, higher than the quiet, feminine, normal level, and said, "Yes it is... He loves me. She really does."

I felt like I was going to cry. I was scared to raise my voice, in fear he would get nervous or scared. But I still did... to get my point across. "Dan! How can "he" love you when all he does is hurt you? Why do you want to go back to that hellhole?!"

He quivered. "B-because he promised it wouldn't happen again..."

"Do you think he means that, Dan? Do you? If anyone, you've ought to believe yourself, so... Do you trust him? Really?"

"I don't know."

"Then don't go back."

"I would die."

"You would die either way."

"Good point."

And we laughed and laughed.

I hugged him and we sat for awhile.