The Teenage Guide To Popularity [COMPLETE]

Chapter 27: Cool To Hate

It was a strange thing, going from simple friendship to something more. There was a tiny, biting feeling at the pit of Carter's stomach, constantly asking her what would happen if things didn't work out with Kiran. Would she lose his friendship too? Would they hate each other so much that they couldn't stand being in the same room ever again? 

At least everything else seemed to be going well, as far as school was concerned. She was up-to-date with all of her projects again, there were no more secrets left to be exposed to the student body, and her progress with Leigh was improving. Even if only slightly. The important thing was that Carter could finally put the whole popularity quest behind her.

Her parents had left for their dinner ten minutes ago, so that meant she would be alone with Kiran. Alone. The thought of it made her queasy, as if being alone with him was a do-or-die situation. She would have to fill every bit of silence with random conversation. Because if they spent more than a minute staring at one another, not saying a thing, other things would happen. Things that would definitely mean they could never go back to being friends.

When the doorbell rang, her heart rang with it.

She swung the door open, and there he was, a sight always capable of emotionally knocking her over. What exactly was he to her now? A boyfriend? They hadn't decided, and maybe it was better not to put a label on it at all.

"Are you gonna invite me in or what?" he said, half-smile ever present, a pizza box in one hand and a paper bag in the other.

"I don't know... I'm thinking of keeping you standing out here."

"As long as you'll stand here with me, I don't care."

"Oh... uh... "

Kiran smiled and stepped closer. "You're attractive when you're nervous, did you know that?"

"I... you... stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Talking like that. Putting me on the spot." She gave him her best fake-contemptuous glare before turning away and walking back towards her living room.

"You don't take compliments very well, do you?" He closed the door, walked into the living room and sat himself down right next to her.

"I do too." She was overcome with a bit of light-headedness, having felt his arm graze against hers.

"Carter, we need to talk," he declared seriously. He leaned back and faced her, his own expression running parallel to how she felt at that moment. Worried, maybe confused. No one ever started a conversation with 'we need to talk' unless they had something horrible to say.

"Okay..."

"I want you to be my girlfriend."

So it had gone in the opposite direction. "Oh, okay."

"Okay, so you want to give this whole thing a shot?"

"I thought that's what we were doing."

"So did I, but sometimes it's like the things I say scare you."

"But it is scary."

"How?"

"Because what if it doesn't work out? What if we're together for a while, and then we have a horrible fight, and we never speak again? You're not a random guy that asked me out. I would hate it if something were to happen, and you weren't in my life anymore."

Kiran half-smiled, "You're thinking about it too much. I want to be with you, and if you want to be with me, then that's all there is to it."

He was right. He was always right. It infuriated her that he would probably always be the voice of reason in their relationship. As she looked at him, took in the charming qualities of his face, the endearing nature of his presence, she knew she had to stop fixating her attention on things that weren't really important. Things like what would happen between them in two years. Five years. However many years it might take for them to break up.