All I Never Wanted

Chapter 23

Annie saw the fasten seat belt sign blink off giving the passengers and crew permission to move around the plane.  She had no intentions of going anywhere.  Her ear buds remained in place just as they had been on the ride to the airport and the entire time they waited in the terminal.

She had fled to Brent’s last night and even though he took her in without question she hadn’t slept well.  Her mind kept replaying the scene in Luke’s room, trying to come up with some other explanation for what she saw and heard without success.  Eventually she gave in to the devastation, the anger turning to tears. 

In those moments she finally grasped just how deeply she loved Luke.  The connection they’d shared as friends had blossomed into something more when they’d started dating and subconsciously Annie had begun to think of her future with Luke as a permanent thing.  Though they hadn’t formally talked about where they were headed as a couple Annie’s heart knew she didn’t want anyone else.  In Luke she had found a friend and a lover, someone who had seen her at her worst and brought out her best, who understood her fears and quirks and insecurities better than anyone else ever could. 

With that came the assumption he wanted the same thing.  He’d worked so hard trying to convince her that he loved her, that she wasn’t inferior, and that he wasn’t going to change his mind.

Yet she’d seen another girl caressing his skin, talking about hiding it from Annie.  That was one hell of a birthday present.

Her chest ached at the incongruity of it, at the depth of the betrayal.  She felt like a fool for believing everything he told her, for thinking that he loved her just as much as she loved him.

She’d kept her phone off until she’d left for the airport and when she’d finally turned it on she’d found both a voicemail and texts from him begging her to let him explain.  She had expected him to be camped out in her apartment when she returned for her luggage this morning and been relieved to find that he wasn’t.  She didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t want to hear his reasons or excuses or lies about what she saw. 

She wanted to get to Florida and immerse herself in the meet, to think about nothing but diving  and winning.  She didn’t want to think about Luke until she and Lexi made the trip to St. Pete’s on Saturday night.  Even then she wasn’t sure she’d have the courage to face him but it was inevitable.

She looked down when she felt something drip on her hand and only then did she realize she was crying.  It wasn’t the gut wrenching sobs that she’d tried to hide in a pillow last night.  It was just a resigned sadness of what she had lost, of something she truly never had.

She reached up to wipe at her cheeks, determined to stop the tears and the thoughts of Luke.  Thank goodness she had something more important to occupy her body and mind over the next few days.  She wasn’t sure what she would have done if she’d been stuck on campus with him all week.

She jumped when Brent’s hand slid over one of hers, giving it a squeeze and holding on.  Thankfully the side aisles on the plane held only two seats and he had agreed to shield her on the way down since she wasn’t in the mood to converse with her teammates.

She pulled the ear buds from her ears for the first time in hours, looking over at Brent.

“You want to talk about it?”

Annie shook her head.  “No.  I just want to forget about it.”

Brent studied her for a moment, the look in his eyes saying he still cared more than he should.  Annie didn’t want to give him mixed signals but she also needed his support.  She hoped he understood that.