Everything is bursting
All the small things hurting
And I'm losing my ground
No lifeguard around
I'm drifting in an ocean full of sharks
With no one to dive in, save me
But I'm on my own
So I'll save myself
I'll shut it down
And turn me off like a silent doll
With glass so cold
And empty eyes
And a once friendly smile
I lost my grace I lost my charm
I lost my faith I lost myself
In the deep waters
And no lifeguard on duty
So I'll save myself
I'll shut me down
I'll pull the curtains closed
My once bright eyes
Shine no more
They're emptier then before
And I'll sink
Sink to the bottom of this tank
And stay their
Comforted by my own apathy
A coat of apathy
Not as thick as you think
But if I let you in
If I crack a smile
If my eyes do shine
Will you then leave again
This happened too many times before
And Every time I go to slam the door
You waltz back in like you own the place
Tell me that your sorry
Tell me you needed me like oxygen
Tell me you couldn't breath
Tell me there's no one in the world who makes you feel better
And without me it's dark outside
Even if I believe a word you say
This kind of light never lasts too long
If you are going to leave again
I wish that you would just go
Because your lingering here
And warming me again
I have gotten so used to the cold
How can I adapt again?
I have made this heart a stone
How do you make it beat again?
But I know it's not going to last
Yet I can't help myself
From holding onto you
Like the words of a lost soul
You will leave me in the cold again
And I will have to fend for myself
More damaged then before
I will lose my hope and it will be because of you
This is what I need to say to myself
To keep myself safe from feeling it all again and I can't go through
These winter blizzard days
Should I let you in for the last time
Or should I bolt that door shut
Should I let myself believe you
Or cast you away as a liar
My heart tells me to give you yet another chance
For I know I have a million
But my head tells me to run away and that a million shouldn't cut it
What would happen to me if I let you in
And trust you yet again
Will we find ourselves like we did before
Or will I sink into the graves
I don't want to go back
To our cold and dark caves
