Pools of Emerald (frostiron fic)

12.) The Recovery

Drowning; was indeed euphoric. White lights glistened and danced around Loki's limp, seemingly lifeless body. This was the first time he actually felt something other that the pain of being alive. Bright lights got stronger, and the pounding in his chest got more intense. Slowly the euphoria was dying down.

Loki was not drowning, at least not anymore. Steve had done CPR and had at least gotten him into a state where he was breathing again. Knowing he couldn't take Loki to a hospital, he had taken him back to stark towers to Bruce's lab to stabilize him. Months ago Steve wouldn't have ever thought of saving the life of someone like Loki, but he was growing on him.
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Tony nearly ran to Bruce's lab after he had gotten the phone call from Steve; the phone call no one ever wants to hear. As soon as Tony got in Steve was right there to calm him down. "Hey I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you, he is ok now. He's fine."
"Maybe next time learn how to use your words a little better on the phone." Tony chuckled sarcastically, to let his own worry die down. He never knew how to act in situations like this. He gingerly walked over to a sleeping Loki. "Don't ever do something like that again goat horns." Tony mumbled under his breath. Bruce waved Tony over to where he was standing.
"He's gonna be fine, right?" Even though Steve already told him, he wanted to hear it from
Bruce.
"Yeah he's going to be fine, he's going to need a few days to physically recover for sure. He sure took a tumble, he had a lot of water in his lungs too. But it's the mental recovery that's not going to be happening overnight." Bruce sighed.
Tony raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean?"
"I told Steve not to tell you right away, apparently Loki didn't fall on accident..." Bruce begun trailing off.
"Well, get on with it." Tony was growing more impatient.
"He tried killing himself Tony... he jumped off the bridge... suicide attempts aren't uncommon. I know it's hard to believe." Tony glanced over at Loki and his brows furrowed. "There is something else too..." Bruce continued. "I noticed cuts, on his arm. Self intentional I'm assuming. They're too perfect to be from anything else. He's going to need professional help. I know most people would just shrug it off, but if he hurt himself before he's going to do it again or try to commit suicide again." A feeling of sadness waltzed into Tony's mind. He felt bad that he had let this happen. He wasn't keeping a close enough eye on Loki.
"This is my fault isn't it..." Tony was immersed in guilt.
"You can't blame yourself. Regardless of what you could have done he probably still would have tried. All you can do now is just be a friend to him when he needs it. We can't expect for him to be too open and tell us why, that's going to take some time, it's probably going to be a sensitive topic for a while. He's going to be in denial and tell everyone he is fine but he isn't. I'm probably going to bring someone in just to help keep an eye on him, an outside source so maybe he will feel more comfortable talking." Bruce sounded apologetic. Tony's words burned at the back of his throat. He didn't even know what to say to that. "Just give him some time Tony, that is all anyone can do. I even wish I could help him but I can't. Physically I can pretty much help whatever, I can be a listening ear, but what I cannot do is be a therapist. And neither can you. So I'll find someone who is unbiased to come and talk to him every now and again. And we are all going to have to put an effort in to keep an eye on him; teach him how to practice self care. Make sure he eats and isn't always alone and by himself." Tony felt an instant wave of guilt. How could he have been that shitty of a host and a friend that he just let Loki suffer in silence? Tears stung in the back of his eyes, but he quickly fought them away. He wasn't going to let his guard down in front of Bruce. He sat next to Loki, watching his chest fall and rise with each slow breath he took. Tony gingerly stroked a few hairs out of his face and pulled the blanket back over shoulders.
"Don't worry goat horns, we're gonna get you pieced back together." And Tony didn't leave his side for the rest of the day.

Sorry that took so long everyone! I should be better about updating regularly now so I apologize this is a little shorter. Enjoy!