Polaroid

07//How Would You Know?

This chapter is kind of graphic and may be disturbing to some readers.
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*Gracelia*
"Sweetheart, are you sure you're ready to go back to school? You don't have to if you aren't." my father, Alexander, said lovingly with a sad and stressed look on his face.
"I'm fine, I promise, I love you." I reassured him, opening the car door.
"I love you too, Gray. Calling me if you need anything, okay?" He asked, using the nickname he's had for me since before I can remember. He used to tell me about how my mom wore the same gray hoodie nearly the whole time she was pregnant with me, plus it coincidentally works with my name.
"Okay," I promised, getting out of his BMW X6.

Lawyers.

I walked into the building, eventually resulting in everyone turning around and either whispering to each other or giving me sympathetic looks. They'd never understand feeling like you aren't even safe in the confines of your own mind. Every night and day I'm reminded of what happened, this is my life now. It feels like I'm 6 feet tall in a prison cell the size of the tip of a sewing needle. I pulled my hood farther down hiding my eyes so they couldn't see my tears and walked even faster to first period.
"Gracelia!" I heard Jane call from the other side of the classroom. I ignored her and kept heading towards the back of the room, and sat in the desk closest to the back left corner. Behind the desks usually occupied by Charlie and Megan if they're able to get here early enough.
"Gracelia, the guidance counselor would like to speak with you." Mr.Fredrickson said, gently putting his hand on my shoulder, pulling me away from my thoughts. I stood up numbly and headed for the door, feeling everyone's eyes on my back, sending a shiver down my spine.
I opened the door to see Ms. Bertolotti sitting at her desk in a navy, floral dress, with a smile.

Pathetic.

I know exactly what she's going to say.

"Good morning, Gracelia. Please, take a seat." She said, motioning to the two teal chairs on my side of her desk. I put my stuff next to the chair as I sat down, before folding my hands in my lap and looking down awkwardly.
"How are you?" She questioned, holding a ballpoint pen.
"Fine."
"Do you want to talk about it." She proceeded to try and pry her way into my head.
"I'm good, thanks."
"Gracelia, I understand what you're going through and how hard this must be-" I cut her off by bursting out laughing.

Bitch.

"How the hell would you understand? How would you know what I'm going through?" I yelled at her angrily.
"Do you know what it feels like to have some guy shove you up against the wall and grab your boobs? Did you feel his hands around your throat as he forced himself into you and all you could do was cry and wait for him to finish? Did you?" I finally reached my breaking point, tears streaming down my face.
"It's okay, let it out." She said moving next to me rubbing my back like a mother when you're sick.
"Everyone is acting like they know how I feel. How do you understand it when I barely do myself?" I sobbed into her shoulder.
"Maybe there's someone here that understands how it feels. I'm not allowed to give out names. I'm sure there's probably someone I don't know about, but you aren't alone. Everyone is here for you.
"You can go back to class if you'd like, or I can call your father to come pick you up" she said motioning to the phone next to her laptop.
"No thanks. I'd just be giving him what he wants, I'm not going to let this rule my life." I explained, walking out of the small office.
"Gracelia." I heard a male voice call condescendingly, making me turn towards the source.

"I bet you deserved it, skank." William smirked, laughing. My breath caught in my throat. Knees weakening, eyes watering, palms sweaty.
No.
"No." I stated simply.
"What was that, bitch?" He sneered, losing the smirk.
"No, I didn't deserve it, bitch." I stood my ground confidently, wiping my hands on my jeans and blinking away the tears I refused to let fall. I walked away, leaving him in shock he didn't get the reaction he wanted from me. I'm done crying about this like a helpless child. I'm stronger than ever before.

I walked into the cafeteria, marching to Ashton's table feeling eyes on me with every step.
When I reached my destination, I tapped Ashton on the shoulder. Now or never.
As soon as she turned around I slammed my lips against hers. I didn't care if everyone in the cafeteria was staring at us, all I wanted was her.
When we finally broke apart for air I couldn't help but smile.
"Is everyone staring?" I asked her rather than turning around and seeing for myself.
She nodded, blushing slightly.
"Good, let them watch." I mumbled against her soft, pink lips as I kissed her again.