What do we do when the person we love the most isn't around? How long are you prepared to wait?
For those that do have someone they know they'd do everything in their power to try and keep the person they love, but what if you can't do anything to change things? What if all you can do is sit and wait for them?
At first you try to convince yourself that they'll come back soon, that they still care and think about you. But after a few days you start to second guess everything you thought about them. You start wondering what they're doing, if they're having fun without you.
You start thinking of all the things you've done wrong, start wondering if those are the reasons they left. You start coming up with scenarios in your head "Has he forgotten about me? Did i do something wrong again?"
It starts eating you up, making you so incredibly paranoid that you can't do anything or say anything without having to worry if you've said the right thing. You become so inside yourself that it scares you to even voice your opinion to anyone.
I read this poem one day and it just.. it reflected exactly what i'm writing about.
"I tried so hard.
I tried my best.
I gave you my all,
and now there's nothing left.
You stole my heart,
then tore it in two.
Now I'm falling apart,
and don't know what to do.
Divided by decisions,
burned by the fire.
Confused by your words.
Tempted by desire.
I'm living in the present.
My mind is on the past.
Not knowing what I'll lose.
Not knowing what will last.
Blinded by fear.
Drowning in doubt.
Struggling to be free.
Looking for a way out."
I honest to everything in me that for those who are going through the same thing, find a friend, a parent or even a stranger that you just let everything out to. Tell them everything. It may seem scary to do so at first but, i've been exactly where you are and it helps. Just to let go and not have to worry about anything of the consequences is... Liberating.
Have a wonderful day.
May the odds be forever in your favor.
