Desiree
Today was the day I would be getting the procedure done. Mani agreed to be there, in spite of her not wanting to be. I told my mom she didn't have to come anymore since Mani had a change in heart.
I know she doesn't want me to have this baby, but at the same time she does. She wants me to be happy and this is what will make me happy.
Our donor just happens to be related to Mani, he looks just like her.
Dr. Miles came in with everything needed then we started the procedure. Mani was here, but she looked like her mind was somewhere else.
She locked eyes with me and I saw so many emotions in them. She forced a smile before approaching me. She laced our fingers together and kissed the back of my hand then my forehead.
"You must be Armani," Dr. Miles smiled at Mani,
"Nice to meet you," Mani smiled at her before directing her attention back to me.
"Okay Desiree, I'm starting now," Dr. Miles said to me. "Would you like to watch the process?" She asked Mani.
"Yeah, I guess," Mani gave me one last look before going over to where Dr. Miles stood. They were talking about something and I was deep in thought.
This is happening now, I'm about to be pregnant.
*
Armani
After I dropped Desiree off at home I was headed to Marcus house. His house was packed with hoes. He dapped me up and draped his arm around my neck.
"Don't mind me, this how it looks in here everyday," he laughed,
"When you gon settle down man? All these hoes don't get boring?" I ask him. He slid a beer towards me but I denied it, settling for a blunt.
"Because nigga, I'm not you. But.. Tell me what's been going on," He said,
I take a pull from the blunt and take a deep breath, "How did you know something was wrong?" I asked,
"Y'all don't even kiss anymore, normally y'all be having heated kissing sessions. If y'all not kissing I know you not hitting it," he said, shaking his head.
It's been 2 months since we've done anything.
"We haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye," I said, "To keep me from doing saying something stupid, I drink vodka.. It keeps me calm. But, she told me I wasn't the same person she fell in love with and it made me think about some shit. Like real talk. I emptied all the alcohol bottles and threw away all the Percocet pills," I said,
"If y'all make love one time, y'all would be coo," he said,
"But she might be pregnant," I said, running my hands down the side of my face.
"I was gon ask you about that, she got it done today?" he said,
"Yeah" I responded,
"You think the baby gon look like you?" he asked,
"Nah, not really," I said,
"Why not? Jeff is basically your twin. The baby gon look just like you with Desiree's eyes," He said,
As if he knew I wasn't feeling this conversation he said, "Just go home, chill with your wife,"
I stood up and dapped him up, "I'll text you tomorrow," I mumbled,
*
I got home and immediately felt devastated. I need to stop tripping man, like on some real shit. Desiree is right, starting families happens after you get married. Before Zion passed I was all for it, but out of nowhere all these new feelings took over.
I said some shit I shouldn't of said and I've been losing my mind with my drinking and pill popping. The only thing that's been keeping me from doing something stupid is Desiree.
She told me get my shit together and that's what I'm about to do. Starting with buying a new house so we can start over.
I went into the kitchen where Desiree was cooking quesadillas. I crept up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist then planted kisses on her neck.
She turned around and smiled up at me, "You're finally back,"
I smiled and pecked her lips once more before opening the refrigerator and getting a Gatorade.
"Baby," I said, gaining her attention. She turned to look at me, "Yes?"
"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately. My support is something you'll always have," I said,
She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck, "I'm so glad you're back," she said,
She removed her arms from around me and looked me in my eyes, "Lately you've been here physically but mentally you've been somewhere else,"
"I'm sorry," I said, "I'm here now, I'm never leaving again,"
