The Darkness Within /a Kylo Ren Fanfiction

Chapter Eleven

A/N: I usually put this at the end of the chapter... But I have to say thank you whoever you are who reads this everytime I post a new part. I would've quit at chapter three if it weren't for you. I dedicate this chapter to whoever you are. Thank you.

"I don't really know why he left it. I do not know why he let me live." Jano stared at her hands wonderingly after explaining what happened with Kylo Ren.

"That's twice now that he's let you go unharmed. He didn't torture you when we were imprisoned, either." Poe winced recalling his own failure to keep the secret of the plans.

"Three." A fingernail caught her attention. "He let me live when the temple was destroyed." 'You were dead the moment I came here.' He'd said that, hadn't he? Jano could not prevent the tear that fell a moment later. 'His name is Ren, well actually it's Ben but he prefers Ren.' 'Believe you mean preferred. Your friend Ben, is dead.'

"Hey." Poe said nuzzling her neck, while eying the flight pattern. "It's alright. It over. Try not to think about it."

"But all the people at the base.. Everyone knows that I lost the saber. I hate having to explain, it brings back more than memories, Poe. It brings back the dreams." Jano laid her head on his shoulder.

"Here's the plan. As soon as we land, run to my room, get some rest, God knows I won't have much down time today. I'll spread the word not to mention the saber. I'll explain when it needs to be, but the pesky gossips at base can just cut their shit out." He leaned his head against hers.

"Thanks, Poe. I can always count on you." Jano placed a quick soft kiss on his cheek.

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Jano snuck into Poe's room and, after pulling on some of his clean clothes, lay down on his bed. It smelled like Poe, a mix of cologne, fighter fuel and pine. That calmed her somewhat, sleep floated into her mind quickly.

'Jano!' A voice called. She was back in the forest by Maz's waterhole. It was dark and cold. 'Jano!' The voice called again, urgently. Slowly she moved towards the person calling her, she found a man bound to a tree by black cords of smoke. He had a black bag over his head and as Jano removed it, she saw Ben. 'Ben!' Jano started to pull at his bonds, but it began to encase her as well. 'You must hurry! The darkness will soon take us!' Ben's eyes were filled with fear. Suddenly a dark mist came up behind Ben and he seemed to be pulled from her into the dark. Then Jano appeared in an empty dueling room. Some children came out from behind several chairs. 'Is the fighting over, Jano? Is it safe?' A red glare began to strike the children down, one by one they fell, shock and sadness in their death glazed eyes. The red saber was gone and Jano looked down at her hands. She held the saber, and her hands were drenched in the blood of the young ones.

"NOOO!" Jano screamed writhing on the bed.
"Jano! Jano! It's okay, it's alright. It was just a dream, breathe." An arm was wrapped around her shoulders as she coughed from the tears, and a hand stroked her hair gently. Poe. Jano leaned on his chest, breathing in the comforting smell and trying to calm herself.

"I saw children, Poe. I had the saber. I- I killed them. The blood. I-it was on my hands."

"Shhh shh. You didn't kill anyone, Jano. You wouldn't do that." Poe lay down on the bed and Jano kept her head rested on his chest. "Think you could sleep anymore?"

Jano shook her head and Poe let out a deep breath. "I understand. I'm going to stay up with you as long as I possibly can. Please forgive me if I fall asleep. I want to be here for you."

"Thanks." Jano mumbled.

Neither said a word for several hours, slowly, very slowly sleep overwhelmed Poe and Jano fell into a dreamless sleep with the steady pacing of his breathing. The next morning, Jano and Poe were woken by a call to a meeting.

"You can stay here if you'd like, Jano."

"No, please. I don't want to be alone."

"Come on then." Poe held out his hand.

He's such a comfort to me. His mere presence calms me. Jano thought.-No.-Jano put a hand to her head. That wasn't my thought.

"What is it?" Poe tilted his head. But somehow he stopped looking like Poe and started to look like... Ben.

"Nothing." Jano said snapping out of her trance. "I'm probably just tired."
You are weak. Jano condemned herself. A wisp of darkness outlined her thoughts.

The meeting produced a valuable piece of information about Luke Skywalker's whereabouts. But not enough of the map had been found. He should be left alone to suffer his own cowardice. A burning sensation of satisfaction filled Jano's heart at this thought. She instantly regretted it. That's not right. It's so unkind. I never liked him, but I certainly think he should be found.

"I can shut down the shields, but I need to be on the planet." Finn said determinedly. Jano waved at him and he winked before going serious again.

"How will you get on Starkiller Base?"

"If I told you, you wouldn't like it."

"I'll go with you." A voice inside of Jano volunteered. What have I gotten myself into?

"No." Poe and the General said at the same moment, though Poe sounded more firm.

"You could always use a Jedi right?" She said.

"Jano, darling... You have no clue what you are getting into." Leia's eyes were tinted with sadness.

"Jano, please." Poe whispered next to her. Turning to look at him, Jano saw a look of pure fear. "Please."

Jano forced herself into his mind. I'm sorry. I have to do this.

"Well. It looks like we have a Jedi on the team, Finn." Han Solo said with a chuckle.