Kiss Me (Niall Horan Fan Fiction)

47. The Moment I Knew

47. The Moment I Knew

"You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you."

++

The flight from LA to Ireland was longer than I thought it would be. Niall and I spent most of the time sleeping, talking or watching TV shows and movies on the screen in the seat in front of us. We decided to watch the same thing and giggle about them together. I'm sure it was annoying to the people in the cabin with us, but we didn't care.

When we land it's about three in the afternoon in Ireland. We go to the baggage claim and get our things and then walked through an automatic glass door that lead to everyone who's waiting for someone. I hold Niall's hand in one hand and my suitcase in the other. Niall's scans the people and I watch as a smile creeps onto his face. He tugs on my hand and I follow him towards a group of people. None of them seem to know who we are, but when I spot a woman who looks as if she's the happiest person alive, I know it's Niall's mom. I smile and then look up to Niall who's eyes are soft and glittering. He drops my hand when his mom quickly takes him into her arms. She cries as she tells him how much she's missed. It's touching to witness. I stand to the side and allow them to have their moment. She hasn't seen him in about three years, after all.

She eventually lets go of him and looks at me. Tears cover her cheeks and she wipes them away with her hand. I smile shyly at her and tuck my hair behind my ear, feeling unsure of what to do next. Should I introduce myself or will Niall do it? It is inappropriate to hug her? I'm probably over thinking this. I'm pleased when I see a warm and kind smile appear of her face and she holds hers arms out, indicating for me to come to her. I do and she gives me a tight hug.

"So this is the lovely Olivia that Niall's been telling me all about." Her accent is similar to Niall's. I love the sound of it.

I nod and smile, "It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Horan."

"Oh darling, please call me Maura." She lets out a small laugh.

"Okay." I smile.

She talks as we follow her out of the airport, constantly offering to help with our bags, but Niall won't let her. She has her arm wrapped around Niall's the whole time we're walking and it's so cute. Niall has a permanent small smile on his lips. It reminds me of the day he proposed to me. When the automatic doors of the exit open I shiver immediately. This is definitely nothing like LA. Snow covers the ground while the sky is a grey and white color. I'm thankful I kept the winter jacket I had to go out and buy for this trip in my carry-on. Maura giggles at my reaction to the freezing weather.

"Nothing like LA, right?" She asks me and I shake my head, hiding my face in my jacket from the cold.

Even if Niall hasn't been in Ireland for three years, the weather doesn't seem to bother him. He walks with his hands casually in his blue denim jeans and listens to his mother talk. I shiver as I walk and desperately wish I had gloves and a scarf. I'm taking those out of my luggage immediately when we get to the house. We load up our things and get in the car. I sit quietly in the back seat on the drive. I hear Niall and his mom talking, but I don't exactly listen to what they're saying. I'm too mesmerized by the way the trees look, surrounded by snow and the branches are covered in ice. It looks almost magical.

"Ol?" I hear Niall's voice and it brings me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I look at him.

"Did you hear what I said?"

I shake my head, "No, sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked if you're hungry. Mum wants to know if she should start with food when we get to the house."

"Oh. Yeah, I could eat." I smile and he returns it.

"Do you like sandwiches and hot chocolate?" She asks me, glancing at me at the rearview mirror.

"Absolutely." I smile at her and the smile she returns is so warm and kind that I already feel closer to her somehow.

++

I already knew this was going to be the coldest winter I've ever experienced, but I quite enjoy wearing sweaters and sweatshirts all the time. Socks constantly cover my feet and shorts aren't even an option. Maura always has the heat on, but when it comes to taking a shower I'm squealing before I'm under the hot water and hurrying to put my clothes back on after. Niall finds this endlessly amusing.

It's been two days since we got here and I've never felt at more at home. Other than at my moms and our apartment, of course. So far we haven't gone anywhere and I'm sort of thankful for that. I love looking out of the window at the weather, but when it comes to going outside my teeth instantly begin to chatter and my muscles are stiff. I find myself wondering how anyone who lives her can even leave their houses.

Christmas is three days away.

"I was thinking we could drive to town tomorrow." Maura tells us as she's chopping carrots, "It's cold, but we could have lunch together and see the shops."

Even if I hate the cold, her idea sounds really nice.

"That sounds great. I really want to see Ireland, anyway." I smile at her.

"And you said Greg and Denise are coming over today?" Niall asks his mom and my eyebrows raise in surprise.

She nods, "Yes, around four."

I glance at the clock. It's two now. Why didn't he tell me? I haven't even gotten to wrap the presents for the baby nor am I dressed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper to Niall as he's munching on a cookie.

He shrugs, "I forgot."

I narrow my eyes at him and then look away. Somehow I know that's not the truth. He's been so excited about seeing his brother again that I doubt he would forget. I shrug it off and decide to let it go. I tell them I'm going to go shower and head upstairs. I really want to look nice for when I meet them and sweatpants surely won't impress. I do my usual squealing before I'm under the warm water deal and then quickly put on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans and a dark green sweater, also sliding socks onto my feet. I blow dry my hair and enjoy the feeling of hot air blowing at me more than I should, then I softly curl the ends. I go for light foundation, blush, light brown eyeshadow, I skip eyeliner and then put on mascara. I run Chapstick over my lips, not even wanting to bother with anything else on my dry lips. This weather isn't very kind to them. I spray the perfume I got from my mom for Christmas and then head downstairs. When I walk into the living room that's separated from the kitchen with just the kitchen island, Maura grins at me as she stirs the soup she's making.

"Oh, Olivia. You look lovely."

"Oh thanks." I smile shyly at her.

I sit down next to Niall on the couch as he's watching TV and he puts his arm around my shoulder. I hear him dramatically inhale,

"You smell incredible." He says and then looks at me. He smiles, "And you look even better."

I bite my lip in shyness and smile, "You're cute." I say and poke his nose with my index finger, causing him to crinkle his nose and laugh.

It feels almost like a dream sitting here with Niall. I cuddle into him and bring my knees to my chest. I watch the snow fall down through the window instead of watching TV. The smell of the soup Maura's making fills the room and it makes me feel warm inside. I really love this.

We eat the soup together as a late lunch and Maura asks us how life is in LA. Niall tells her about his work and she smiles warmly at him as he talks to her.

"I always knew Niall would do something with music." She says, "He's always loved it. Have you heard him sing?"

I nod, "Fortunately he has a guitar at home so he often plays and sings for me."

"He's good isn't he?" She smiles and I nod enthusiastically.

Niall's cheeks are red with embarrassment and we giggle at him. He's certainly not used to people praising him.

"How long have you been together?" His mom asks.

"It'll be three years in July." I tell her.

"Three years? Wow." She glances at Niall and then she doesn't speak of it anymore.

I wonder what that look was for. I decide to not dwell on it. We finish our soup and I help Maura load the dishwasher. I hear chatting coming from the hall and I'm caught off guard when Niall walks in with who I'm assuming is Greg. I look down at my hands in the sink which are covered in bubbles from the dish soap and then quickly wash them off, grabbing a towel and drying them. I smile warmly as I approach them and stand next to Niall. Niall smiles proudly at me as he wraps his arm around my waist.

"This is my girlfriend, Olivia." Niall says to his brother.

"I've heard a lot about you, Olivia." He smiles and extends his hand. His eyes are just as blue as Niall's.

"I can say the same about you." I smile and take his hand. His hair is brown, unlike Niall's. I often forget that Niall bleaches his hair.

The next second a blond woman comes out of the bathroom holding a small baby who has a head full of brown hair.

"Greg, could you give me a hand?" She says and Greg goes directly to her.

He takes the baby from her and lifts him up so they're face to face. "Hey there little guy." He coos and kisses the baby softly on his cheek.

I don't realize I'm grinning at them until Greg's wife steps in front of me with a kind smile on her face.

"You must be Olivia, I'm Denise." She smiles and I'm surprised when she pulls me in for a hug.

I feel the coldness of her cheek as it brushes against mine and it oddly makes me feel warmer.

"It's so nice to meet you." I smile at her when she pulls away.

Greg walks over and I find myself grinning again. I watch as the baby yawns sleepily and lets out little baby sounds.

"This must be Theo." I step closer and gently run the back of my index finger up and down his soft cheek.

I smile at him and then turn to the side and smile at Niall. His eyes are glittering as he watches me. It brings that familiar warmth back in my heart.

Hours pass as we sit in the living room talking to each other. You know when you meet someone and it just clicks? Thats how I feel about Niall's family. Niall and Greg talk endlessly about brother and guy stuff and it makes me happy to see Niall with his family. I sit next to Denise with Theo in my arms as she tells me what her pregnancy was like. I was so curious to know and I asked all kind of questions. She even told me about when she was in labor and all the awful stuff that goes with it. You would think that hearing this stuff would scare me away, but when I'd glance down to Theo sleeping softly in my arms, I knew it was worth it.

Denise excuses herself to the bathroom and I lean back on the sofa, still holding Theo in my arms. I gently run my fingers through his brown hair as he sleeps. I love the way he smells. He smells like that baby lotion that I used to use on a little boy I used to babysit when I was sixteen. I'd give him a bath and then cover his skin in the lotion, after slipping on his pajamas and reading him a book of his choice I would put him to sleep. I loved babysitting and the smell of Theo brings me back to that happy time in my life.

"You look like a natural." I hear Maura comment.

I hadn't noticed that I was watching Theo so intently until I heard her voice. I look up from him and smile at her.

"He's a good baby." I say and look back down at him again.

I like the extra warmth he brings when he's in my arms. Occasionally he would move his fingers around or his mouth would form into an "o" shape. My heart warmed at the sight of it. I notice Niall scoot closer to me and then he puts his arm around me. My eyes meet his and he smiles at me before looking down at Theo.

"Would you like to hold him?" I ask Niall.

He seems hesitant at first, but nods. I gently pass Theo over to him, trying my best not to disturb his sleep.

"Use your hand to support his head." I direct him and he does what I say.

Niall holds him differently than me. While I held him in my left arm and across my chest, Niall rests his bottom on his lap and hold his head in his hand, his tiny, sock covered feet rest against Niall's belly. He smiles fondly at Theo before brushing some of his off of his small forehead. My heart swells at the sight in front of me and I keep my hand rested on his shoulder. Denise returns and takes a seat next to Greg. They smile at us, as if they're agreeing with what they're looking at. Niall's mom smiles at us, too. Something about the way this feels makes me want this so badly. To have it be our baby in Niall's arms. As I'm looking at the love of my life with his sweet nephew in his arms, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with Niall. I want this to be our life one day.

I decide to save the presents for Theo when Niall told me that they'll be back on Christmas which I felt relief over. I really wanted to wrap the presents and this gives me time. I give Greg and Denise a hug, planting a soft kiss on baby Theo's forehead and they leave.

"I really like them." I say as I fall down on the bed.

Niall and I are sharing his old room. Thankfully he has a double bed. I was worried that we'd either have to squeeze together on a twin sized bed or one of us would end up on the floor. I like the way his room looks. It gives me a small glimpse kind of, of how he was as a teenager. Soccer awards line on a shelf, ribbon awards hang along the wall. A black desktop computer sits on a dark brown desk paired with a black swivel chair. The bedsheets are blue and white and has a heating blanket which I've grown very fond of. If you put the heating blanket and Niall together, you could say I'm one toasty person when it comes to bedtime.

"And they liked you." He smiles and pulls his shirt over his head.

"You really think so?" I ask, staring at the ceiling. "I really tried to be myself, and Denise was so easy to talk to. You and Greg seemed to have a nice time talking. And Theo is so cute, I didn't want to give him ba-"

I'm interrupted from my rambling when Niall leaps onto me. I groan when he elbows me in the stomach on accident,

"You elbowed me in the stomach." I complain and clutch my belly.

He laughs, "Sorry, babe. I didn't mean to."

I sigh and he scoots up, bringing his face closer to mine. He rests his weight on his forearms as he hovers above me,

"Are you sure they liked me?" I ask again.

Niall groans and buries his face in the crook of my neck, "Yes, I'm sure." He brings his face back to mine, "Now will ya stop talking about it and just kiss me?"

Amusement glitters in his eyes and it's so contagious that I find myself slightly giggling. I lift my head and press my lips against his. His lips are soft and warm, I love the feeling of them even more in this cold weather. I feel his hand trail down my waist and grip onto my thigh as he lies between my legs. We quickly begin making out and I breathe for air when our lips separate and he kisses my jawline and neck. I already know where this is headed and the idea makes me slightly uncomfortable.

"Niall," I breathe, tingles shoot through my body from the feeling of his tongue on my neck, "We can't do this... Not here."

"Why not?" He asks from the crook of my neck.

"Because your Mom's like in the other room... She could hear us." My cheeks redden at the thought of his mom finding out that we're having sex in his old bedroom.

"She won't know." He says and brings his face back up to mine, "We'll have to be quiet, though. Can you handle that?" He smirks at me and I roll my eyes.

"Now's not the time to be cocky." I tell him and he only laughs.

I gasp when his hand grips my breast over my sweater.

"Lets get this off of you, yeah?" His voice is darker, sexier.

He grips the bottom of my sweater and I lift my arms, allowing him to remove it.

"Much better." He mutters and palms my breasts over the thin, white tank top I had under my sweater.

Next he yanks off my skinny jeans and I'm thankful when he leaves my socks on. It's probably not the sexiest thing, but my toes easy freeze. He runs his hand along my light pink lace underwear. I bought these lace underwear in every shade they had after just buying a red pair. Niall seemed to really like them so I went back and bought the rest. I hum in approval as his fingers run along them, he plants kisses on my hipbone and my lower stomach. My skin is on fire as he adds pressure to what he's doing, he comments quietly on how wet I already am for him.

He moves up and I'm surprised when he only unclasp my bra and doesn't remove my shirt. I remove the bra and he stares at my chest, taking his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Fuck," He curses quietly, "That's so hot."

I look at him and then look down at my chest. Once I realize what he's talking about I can't keep myself from blushing. The material of my tank top is so thin that you can see right through it, meaning that my nipples are very visible. He loops his fingers into my panties and slides them down my legs, but keeps the tank top on, which doesn't surprise me. He brings his face down to my area and my heart pounds hard beneath my chest at the anticipation of what comes next. I rest my weight on my forearms as I watch him loop his arms under my thighs and then grip tightly into them, something he does to keep me still. I let out a soft groan when he runs his tongue along my center, then closing his mouth over me. I moan and pant as his mouth works in amazing ways. I didn't know it was possible to feel better every time he does this, but oh my god it does. I pant heavily and grip at the blanket underneath us.

Niall's POV

Never in all my life while I lived in this bedroom did I think I would be back here, twenty-two years old and three years later with my American girlfriend, making her moan my name on my old bed. I quite like this outcome, though.

I peek up at her as she squirms underneath me. I groan at the sight of her erect nipples under her tank top. Fuck. I press my tongue harder against her and move it slightly in and out of my mouth, earning a moan from her. She smacks her hand over her mouth trying not to be so loud and fuck it's hot. The thought of doing this without being too loud so my mum doesn't hear is so hot and thrilling. Even if she would never admit it, I'm know she's turned on by it.

After a couple of minutes she tells me to stop so she won't finish. I lick my lips before kissing her. She moans against my mouth and her tongue massages against mine. I've heard of couples having hot and steamy sex for a year or two, if that, and then they get bored of each other. I figured this would be the case once I was in a long term relationship, but I'm proved wrong. Every time with Olivia is better than the last, which I don't know how that's even possible. We continue to be extremely attracted to each other and it helps when it comes to being intimate. I wouldn't trade the way she trembles and whimpers under my touch for anything.

I decide to tease her a bit, not getting straight into it. Instead I thrust my hips against her, but I don't enter her. I know she loves this, me thrusting my length up and down her center, but at the same time, it drives her absolutely mental. She starts out by moaning and ends it by begging for me. When I don't listen to her begging, she reaches her hand down and puts me inside her herself. I laugh a little and she giggles. She's the only girl I've ever known that can be irresistibly cute and unbelievably sexy at the same time. She softly moans as I push myself into her and I hiss when I pull myself out again. I enter faster and pull out faster, continuing and picking up the speed. I lean down, bringing my face close to hers. She whimpers and pants as I thrust into her, her fingers grip my back and it sends goosebumps prickling along my skin. I begin thrusting into her harder and faster and she can't keep herself quiet. I clamp my hand over her mouth as I concentrate on making her feel good. She moans against my hand and it's such a fucking turn on that it almost pushes me over the edge. I slow down a bit, not wanting this to end just yet. I pull out and she whimpers from the loss of contact.

"Did you finish?" She asks me, her eyes remain closed.

"No." I answer and her brow furrows.

"Then why did you stop?" Her eyes flutter open and they meet mine.

I love the way she looks right now. Sweaty and out of breath.

"I don't want to finish yet." I tell her.

"Lets switch." She suggests and I roll under her.

She rests her knees on the bed on each side of my and her feet rest of my thighs. She kisses me for a bit, moving her hips back and forth on me. I groan and grip the end of her top, not wanting anything between us any longer. Our lips separate and I pull the top over her head. She reaches her hand behind her and positions my length on her entrance. She sighs as she lowers herself onto me and I softly groan. She doesn't waste time when she quickly begin to slam down on me, I watch in amazement as her breasts bounce up and down and she pants. How the fuck is this girl mine? I ask myself this all the time.

I grip onto her hips tightly and slam her harder down on me, she gasps and tries to stifle a moan.

"Mmm," she hums and licks her lips.

I know I'm close and I try to hold on for her. I hate finishing before her, I've always loved the feeling of us coming undone together. But the sight of her right now it's helping one bit.

"Ol-Olivia." I breathe, warning her that I can't hold on much longer.

I reach up and grip her breasts and then it's over. I groan and Olivia leans down, covering my mouth with her hand as I thrust myself into her and release. I pant as I come down from my high, she stays on top of me, keeping me inside of her. She kisses my cheek and I wrap my arms around her. I surprise her by flipping us so she's under me again.

"What are you doing?" She giggles as I plant kisses all over her face and then work my way down.

"You didn't get to finish." I point out and I hear her gasp when I run my fingers along her area again.

She doesn't respond, she just lets me continue what I had in mind. Within minutes she's moaning my name and I peek up at her as she comes undone. Her back arches and she closes her eyes, panting heavily and moaning. I get her under the blankets with me and she rests her head against my chest as she comes down from her high. Needless to say, we slept like a baby.

++

In the morning I wake up after Niall. I get out of bed and get dressed in yoga pants and a sweatshirt.

This whole Denise, Greg and Theo thing really has me thinking about marrying Niall. He hasn't brought up the engagement to me at all, I assumed it was because he had the same idea as me, that we'll let it go for now and see what happens. And yesterday when he introduced me as his girlfriend, I knew we weren't engaged any longer. It doesn't bother me, it is what I wanted after all, but I can't help but wonder if he'll ask again. But I'm thankful that we're not engaged right now. I'm happy I got to meet his family before we planned to get married. I want them to be part of our lives too.

I leave the bedroom and shut the door behind me. I begin to walk down the steps, but stop when I hear Niall's voice. I don't why I stopped, but I did.

"I proposed to her in August, she said yes, but then we fought and the idea was dropped." I hear Niall say.

They're talking about us?

"Have you talked to her about it at all?" Maura asks him.

I can't see him, but I'm guessing he's shaking his head, "No. I'm not sure how to bring it up."

"Well, aren't you glad that she got to meet us first before you went off and got married?"

"I suppose, but I would've married her regardless of if you guys met her or not. I love her, mum. I never want to live a day without her."

My heart swells when I hear his hushed words. I don't know why it surprises me that he's talking to his mom about us, but it does.

"I know, darling. I can tell. And she loves you, too." Maura says, "Do you mind if I talk to her?"

"Um, sure. But no interrogating her." I can just picture the stern expression he must be giving his mother.

I hear her laugh, "Of course not. It'll be more a... Mother to daughter-in-law talk."

Daughter-in-law? What? Is he going to propose to me? I'm suddenly feeling very nervous and feel guilty that I sat here and eavesdropped on them. I straighten out my sweatshirt and then walk down the steps. I run my fingers through my hair and shove my hands into the large pocket on my sweatshirt.

"Good morning." Niall and his mom say at the same time.

"Morning." I smile at take a seat next to Niall by the kitchen island.

"Did you sleep alright?" Maura asks me and my eyes meet Niall's before looking back to hers,

"I slept great."

I feel Niall's knee push mine and I look at him. Amusement glitters in his eyes and I know he's thinking about last night, too. My cheeks redden and I playfully roll my eyes before breaking eye contact.

"I was thinking we'd leave for town at half past eleven. Is that okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, that's fine." Niall says and I nod.

I glance at the clock and see that it's nine-thirty, I've got some time before I need to get ready. I stand and fix myself some cereal. Niall asks me to fix him one, too and I do. Niall and Maura make some conversation with me, but I can't seem to focus on anything other than what I heard them talking about before. Is Niall going to propose to me? Is he going to do it here? In front of his family? Oh god. I really don't want to over think it, but I can't help it.

Once we finish I take our bowls to the sink and wash them, placing them on the drying rack. We watch TV and drink tea until it's time to get ready.

++

"Where did you get these?" Niall's asks as I walk in front of him up the stairs.

"Get what?"

"These pants. They're incredibly sexy." His hand squeezes my bottom and I squeal, swatting his hand away.

"I've always had them, I just never got around to wearing them."

"Well, you should at least wear them at home."

"Oh what will they be? Like my housewife outfit? Made specially for your dirty mind?" I tease and we walk into the bedroom, closing the door behind us.

"Something like that." He grins.

I pull my sweatshirt over my head, "Stop touching my butt." I tell him and he laughs, not listening to me.

"But look at how amazing it looks. It would be wrong for me not to touch it." He continues to squeeze it and I can't help but laugh.

"Perv." I tease and turn my bottom away from him.

"Can I at least take them off of you?"

I shake my head. I know where that would lead and we don't have time for that.

"Oh come on." He loops his fingers into my pants and pulls me with him.
He sits on the edge of my bed with me in between his legs, my backside faces him.

"I know you. You'll get a boner and then want to have sex."

He laughs hard, "Yeah, that probably will happen. But we don't have time for that."

He slowly begins to pull my pants down.

"So you'll just walk around with a boner?"

"No, I can deal with that while I'm showering."

I gasp and he laughs. What a little shit. He starts getting my pants over my bum and I hear him gasp when my bum is revealed.

"What is this?" He asks and pulls on the material of my panties.

"A thong."

"Since when do you wear those?"

"Since I went shopping for this trip. I don't like wearing regular undies under these pants."

I hear him groan and he palms my bum.

"You have to come in the shower with me."

"What? No! You're mom will know."

"I don't care. I'm fucking turned on and I need you with me."

I protest a bit, telling him it's his own fault and that I warned him. His erection is obvious underneath his loose sweatpants and I almost feel bad for him. But like I said, he did this to himself. I send him pouting to the bathroom and I giggle at him. I pick what I'm going to wear while he's in the shower and make the bed. He returns about fifteen minutes later with a towel wrapped around his hips.

"How'd your shower go?" I ask him when he shuts the door.

"Fine. Would've been more fun with you." He winks and I playfully roll my eyes.

I go to the bathroom and shower and then return to find Niall ready to go. He insists on waiting for me while I get ready. I dress in light blue denim skinny jeans and a dark blue blouse with a cardigan over. I slip socks onto my feet and then blow dry my hair. I softly curly the ends as I usually do and go for natural makeup. I put on studded earrings and put on random pieces of jewelry. Once I'm finished I grab my bag.

"Why can't I ever look better than you?" Niall teases and takes my hand in his.

"Because you're just not pretty enough." I joke and he laughs.

"I really do wish you would've joined me in the shower." He leans in and kisses my lips.

"Maybe I'll take you up on that later." I wink and he grins

We head downstairs to find Maura waiting on us.

"You two look great. Are you ready?" She asks us and we both nod, "Great, lets get going."

++

I shiver when we step outside of the house, but feel thankful for my hat and gloves. Niall wears gloves and a beanie. He smiles at me as we walk to the car,

"You look so cute." He says and I laugh.

I probably look as cold as I feel. I rub my hands together when I shut the car door, letting out a sigh of relief. Maura had Niall run out a couple of minutes before we went outside to start the car so it would be warm when we were to leave. I gaze out of the window as we drive, Niall and Maura talk about people they know in town and what they've been up these last three years. Maura pulls into the place Niall had wanted to eat, he swore it was the best food on the planet and I would love it. He wraps his arm around my shoulder as we approach the restaurant that says "Nando's" largely along the front. I feel instantly relieved as we step inside and warmth hits me, the sound of people's conversations fill my ears.

"What would you like?" Niall asks me.

"You pick." I tell him and he smiles, nodding.

Maura and I find a table while Niall orders our food. We find a booth and we slide in on each ends. I feel a little nervous seeing as this is my first moment alone with her.

"I wanted to say thank you." She catches me off guard with her words. I tilt my head,

"Thank me for what?"

"For what you've done for my boy." She smiles.

"What do you mean?" I ask, not catching on to what she's talking about.

"If you had known Niall when he lived here, you would've known instantly what I'm talking about." She says and looks over at him standing in line before her eyes meet mine again, "He was so... angry. He was always getting into fights, suspended from school." She sighs, "I thought he would always be angry, but then he told me about you. He didn't even have to tell me for me to know that he was in love with you when he spoke to me on the phone."

I smile kindly at her and she returns it. I don't know why she's telling me all of this and I still don't understand why she's thanking me.

"You helped him. Because of you, he's not angry anymore. The difference in him is evident. I notice the way his face lights up when you smile at him or when you join him on the couch. He loves you more than you know."

Her words swim around in my head as she speaks to me. I'm not sure what to say.

"That's why I want to thank you. You've changed my boy for the better. You've helped my family. Brought him home to me, even if its only for a short time, and helped his relationship with his brother."

"I hear what you're saying, but Niall made those decisions by himself. I didn't even know he was speaking to you again and I didn't know he had a brother until a couple months earlier." I tell her and she smiles at me again.

"Even so, you've brought him such happiness. He might have not told you, but you're the reasoning behind it. You make him want to be better."

My memories wanders back to all the times he's told me that I make him want to be better and I believe everything she's told me. But I still feel unable to take all the credit for the change in Niall. Maybe she's right, but I feel bad somehow. It's such a large thing to take on - being the reason of someone's change and happiness. He seemed happy from the moment I met him. He's always been sweet and kind to me. I've seen him fuming angry, but that still doesn't make me see him any differently. But like she said, I didn't know him while he lived in Ireland and he did tell me of those times. How his relationship with his father made him lash out on other people and get in trouble. Maybe that's the reason behind the last time he drank and got in a fight, he knew he would be returning to the place that held so many unpleasant memories. I suddenly feel a flood of guilt for being so angry with him and sadness for what he might've been feeling. I should have talked to him.
I smile again at her, feeling unable to find the right words.

"Just... Thank you." She smiles and reaches her hand across the table, resting it on top of mine.

I feel like the obvious thing to say is "You're welcome.", but that seems so fake. Before I'm able to respond Niall approaches our table and places our food on it.

"Trading shopping tips, are ya?" Niall teases and we roll our eyes.

He laughs at himself and then slides into the booth, taking a seat next to me. Niall ordered us the same thing, a chicken sandwich with a side of fries while Maura has a salad with chicken in it. I'm surprised by how amazing the sandwich tastes.

"Amazing, right?" Niall smiles and I nod enthusiastically.

He takes a large bite and happily chews.

"Have you missed this food?" I ask him and he nods, swallowing before answering.

"Definitely. But not as much as me mums cooking." He grins at her and she acts touched.

I've noticed a difference in the way Niall speaks since we got here. He sounds a lot more Irish. Like he's started saying "me" instead of "my" at times and he's said words like grand and craic. I have no idea what craic means.

"What does craic mean?" I ask them both.

"It means like, something good or what's up. Like I could ask someone 'What's the craic?' or I could say 'That party last night was the craic.' Ya get it?" Niall's explains and I nod once I understand.

"You'd never hear someone in America say that." I laugh and take a bite of my delicious sandwich.

"It's an Irish thing." He says.

"I was thinking of doing some baking when we get back. Would you like to join me?" Maura looks at me and I nod.

"I'm not very good, but sure." I smile and wipe my mouth off with my napkin.

"How about cookies, brownies and cupcakes?" She beams.

"Can I be the taster?" Niall asks and we laugh at him.

"I don't see why not." She says and Niall gets visibly excited.

"You can't eat all of it." She tells Niall, "It's mostly for Christmas."

"Alright, alright." He huffs and keeps eating.

I'd almost forgotten. Christmas is two days away. I have to wrap the presents I bought for Theo. I'll do that tonight before bed. This will be my first Christmas without my mom and the thought makes me sad. I hate the thought of her being alone on Christmas and hope that she's made plans with my aunt or some friends. I should call her when we get home.
We keep talking and eating. I eat every last bite on my plate and Niall and Maura do the same.

"Shall we see the shops?" She asks and we nod.

We spend a couple more hours in town, walking around an outdoor mall. Despite my frozen toes and cheeks, I had a great time. I bought some clothes, as did Niall and Maura bought some Christmas baking things for our baking today. Then we drive home.

++

I finish wrapping presents and place them on the desk in Niall's old bedroom. I look at Niall as he lies on his back, blankly staring at the ceiling, obviously lost in his thoughts. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what Maura and I talked about today at lunch. Nor have I been able to stop thinking about what the reasoning behind him getting drunk last time was. I sigh and climb onto the bed. Sitting cross legged beside him. He turns his head and looks at me.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his expression puzzled.

"Why did you get drunk and get into a fight again?" I ask him, softly.

His face drains and he looks back at the ceiling. We sit in silence and I begin to feel awful that I even brought it up.

"I was scared." His voice is barely audible and his response causes my heart to drop.

"Scared of what?" I keep my voice low and gentle.

"Coming back here." He says and begins to play with the material of his shirt, "I thought about the possibility of seeing my dad again and I was terrified."

I frown and close my eyes, letting his words soak in. When I open them Niall's looking at me with red, glossy eyes. My heart breaks at the sight of him. He looks back up at the ceiling.

"I should have just talked to you. Instead I went back to the only thing I knew, which was drinking and taking my emotions out on someone else, and I regret it all the time." He takes a deep breath and I remain quiet, "Memories I'd repressed came back to the surface and I just wanted them gone. Drinking has always helped get rid of them, if only for a little while." He pauses and I notice a single tear leave his eye and roll down his temple. My heart shatters into a million pieces and I suddenly feel as if I can feel his pain, his fear. "When I came home and you were so angry... I didn't know what to do. So I just got angry and said things I didn't mean."

"Don't blame yourself." I stop him from talking, "I should have known something was wrong. I should have talked to you instead of yelling at you."

He only softly shakes his head, "You didn't know and that's my fault. I had asked you to be my wife, yet I can't even tell you how I'm feeling. That's not fair to you. You had every right to be angry with me that night."

Before I realize it, tears are spilling from my eyes. I reach my hand onto his stomach and grab his hand, pulling it into my lap and holding it. He closes his eyes.

"They're getting divorced." He breathes.

My eyes widen in shock, "Your parents?" I ask and he nods.

"My mom told me this morning before you woke up."

I guess they hadn't only talked about me, but of his dad, too.

"Are you okay with it?" I ask him.

"I don't know..." He squeezes my hand, "I've always wanted this, but now that it's happening, I can't help but wish things could've been different. That we could've somehow been the family I've always wished we could be. I know it's stupid to think, but I can't stop thinking about it."

I bring his arm behind me and lay down beside him, resting my head on his chest. He responds by gripping tightly onto my upper arm and holding my close.

"It's not wrong to wish that, Niall. It's not stupid." I hear the steady beat of his heart through his chest and it calms me.

"Maybe. But I'm glad that he won't come around us any more. I can finally move on with my life and not have to fear that he'll return."

I lift my head and place a kiss on his chest. This conversation is possibly one of the best things that could happen for our relationship. He's actually telling me his thoughts and how he feels, something he obviously found difficult before. I breathe in the scent of him before responding,

"You're so strong, Niall. And so brave. Thank you for opening up to me. It's what I've always wanted." I reach my arm across his stomach and hug him tightly.

"Thank you for loving me." His voice is gentle and almost inaudible.

His quiet words bring tears to my eyes again and I hold him closer. In this moment I feel closer to Niall than I have in our entire relationship. Something's different between us, a good different. This is the moment I knew.

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