Spazzy Magazine September 2013

Spazzy Spook

S P A Z Z Y     S P O O K

Hello! It’s Vilopoetess! Yep, Two articles in the same issue? Too much! Your soul flies in utter joy enlightened with euphoria caused by me… But, no more! As, now… I present to you...

Spazzy Spook

A collection of short stories which have gotten famous over time and never fail to spook your wits out.

1.       One of the very best… classic. THE KEYHOLE :

A man went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. Especially no one should look inside the room, under any circumstances. So he followed the instructions of the woman at the front desk, going straight to his room, and going to bed.

The next night his curiosity would not leave him alone about the room with no number on the door. He walked down the hall to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. He bent down and looked through the wide keyhole. Cold air passed through it, chilling his eye. What he saw was a hotel bedroom, like his, and in the corner was a woman whose skin was completely white. She was leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. He stared in confusion for a while. He almost knocked on the door, out of curiosity, but decided not to.

This disinclination saved his life. He crept away from the door and walked back to his room. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the wide keyhole. This time, all he saw was redness. He couldn’t make anything out besides a distinct red color, unmoving. Perhaps the inhabitants of the room knew he was spying the night before, and had blocked the keyhole with something red.

At this point he decided to consult the woman at the front desk for more information. She sighed and said, “Did you look through the keyhole?” The man told her that he had and she said, “Well, I might as well tell you the story. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in that room, and her ghost haunts it. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which were red.”

2. Eesh! A cross between disgusting and creepy. HUMANS CAN LICK TOO:

A young girl named Lisa was often left alone at home because her parents worked late, so they bought her a dog to protect her and keep her company. One night Lisa was awakened by a constant dripping sound. She got up and went to the kitchen to turn off the tap properly. As she was getting back into the bed she stuck her hand under the bed and the dog licked it reassuringly.

The dripping sound continued, so she went to the bathroom and turned off the tap properly in there, too. She went back to her bedroom and again stuck her hand under the bed, and again the dog licked it. But the dripping continued, so she went outside and turned off the taps out there. She came back to bed, stuck her hand under it, and the dog licked it again.

Still the dripping continued, drip, drip, drip. This time she listened and located the source of the dripping — it was coming from her cupboard. She opened the cupboard door, and there was her dog hanging upside down with its neck cut, and written on the window on the inside of the cupboard door was, "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!!!"

3.       This is for the intelligent folks. FATHER, FORGIVE ME FOR I HAVE SINNED

I never had taste for art, but sometimes you get an invite to the finest gallery you could ever be invited to: free food, rich women, cheap security and expensive art. The whole situation was fantastic for a skilled ne’er-do-well such as myself. I was to walk in, collect what art I could, get an artsy girl, and stroll right out. I would cash in the art in a shady pawn shop in Utah and live the rest of my life in paradise. But things aren’t that simple and they never were. I should have known.