5437 |l.h

• N I N E •

Okay, it took me a lifetime - i'm sorry -, for those who are in the group chat know that this chapter has a song! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUjIvgjTTHU - hope y'all like it, don't forget to comment!

N I N E

You wish me well

I wish you hell

Days went by but I couldn't go home. I was still at the hospital because after I fainted Dr. Austin was concerned about my mental health and advised me to stay here to talk with the therapist. I'm not fond of therapists but I was so weak that I said yes.

"Liza?" Dr. Monica called my name

I blinked snapping back to reality and tried to focus on her face

"Yes?"

"I asked you a question" she calmly closed her notebook and leaned in to catch my attention. I just stood in silence because I can't remember what she asked. Then she smiled. "Is today a bad day? Yesterday you told me that some days were bad and others were not so much, so what is it today?"

I looked down.

"Today is" I tried to wrap my mind around my own answer but honestly I wasn't aware. So I just sigh

"I see" she takes her notebook and writes something down "I'm trying not to ask you obvious questions like how you're doing, or how are you feeling today"

"Please do"

"Sorry?" she frowns her brows

"These past few days everyone has been tip toeing around me, looking at me with pity eyes" I say looking into her eyes "I know I look like hell and what I feel inside is ten times worse but please, ask me obvious common questions." I try not to cry "Because maybe then I might feel normal again"

She bites her lip and writes something down

"How are you today?" She looks me in the eyes

"Empty" Is the first thing I say "I close my eyes but I can't sleep, I see food in front of me brought by the nurses but I don't have the appetite to eat, I see my friends and family coming to say comfort words to me but somehow I cannot feel comforted" Words float out of my mind. All the things I wasn't able to say for a week.

"And how are you coping?"

"I'm not" I look down

We stay in silence because I don't feel like elaborating my answer and she's being careful with what she asks.

"What do you want to do from now on?" After an endless period of silence she speaks up

The first word that popped on my head was die but I knew if I said that they'd send me to the psychiatric zone and I would definitely go nuts. So I sigh to buy myself some time before I answer.

"To move on" I say instead. Which is not a lie.

"And how are you going to accomplish that?"

"If I had the answer I wouldn't be here, would I?" My sassy words slip out of my mouth. The doctor seems surprised "You asking me things I don't know won't help me" I get up feeling frustrated

"Where are you going?"

"Back to my room, my head hurts" I get up before she gives me permission.

As soon as I step out of her office I face the person who had been running away from me since Leo died.

"Liza" Luke's deep blue eyes that once were bright as the ocean, now are as dark as the stormy weather.