E L E V E N
blood is (was) thicker than water
2:45 am.
That's my flight's time. After mother left with my exile sentence on the tip of her toes, Dr. Austin signed the papers for me to go home, Ashton came to pick me up without knowing I'd be leaving in a few hours.
"At least you're coming home" He said while parking the car on the street right outside our apartment.
My tongue tingled for me to tell him I'm leaving but I don't have to courage to do so. Instead I smile and sigh, he helps me get inside the building. When we call for the elevator I see a big box sitting on the hallway, from the wooden piece resting right outside the box I know that used to be Leo's crib. Suddenly a sad wave hit me making my vision blurry.
"Hey, are you okay?" Ashton asks holding my shoulders because apparently I was stumbling.
"The crib" I point to the box "Leo's crib" I walk towards it and kneel before the box, I grab one small piece, it was as big as my hand, I squeeze it with my eyes closed reminding myself with my dream where I saw Leo's eyes.
I sigh feeling empty inside once more but I shake it off and get up. I hold on to the wooden piece and get in the elevator like nothing happened. When we got upstairs no one was home, Mike was at work and Ashton said he needed to leave too and asked if I'd be okay.
"Don't worry" I say with a smile "I'll be just fine" I hug him goodbye and sit on the couch in silence.
Ever since I lost Leo everything seemed empty. I'd look on people's face in the hospital and all I could see was empty shells walking around, my hospital room was all white and empty, this apartment without the boys' joy is empty, I am empty. I nod my head accepting my new reality, all the love I had in my heart was slowly fading away.
I had Luke who I loved with every inch of my body, but the feeling of affection worn out and all I'm left with is painful memories. I had Leo who was my flesh and blood, but him too was taken away from me and now I'm just alone with this empty body that makes me cry whenever I look on the mirror and see myself.
If I could sleep and wake up with a fresh mind, not remembering everything that happened, Luke, the baby, Australia, that would be perfect. Every little memory, even the ones that used to be happy, they are all painful now. On the hospital Mike brought some pictures from Sydney and I couldn't even look at them, the first one that was all of us on the beach, smiling and hugging each other, that one felt like a bullet in my stomach. But the one that really killed me, the one that ripped my heart out of my chest, the one that made me torn inside, was a picture of Luke and I sleeping in the back of the truck. I was resting my head on his shoulder and his hand was wrapped around my body, we looked so peaceful, so in love. After I saw that picture I've been bleeding out.
Mom texted me later the day saying she'd pick me up at midnight to drop me off at the airport. I sighed and went to my room to pack my belongings already thinking of a way to say goodbye to Mike and Ashton.
An hour went by and I heard the door being opened, Mike entered my room with frowned eyebrows.
"Why are you packing?" He sits at the edge of my bed, I get up from the floor and bite my lips
"I'm leaving" I say as fast as ripping a band aid out, I watch his jaw drop "Mom wants me to move to Sheffield, she secured my spot and already paid my tuition"
"Wait, hold on" he shakes his head trying to understand the situation "When are you leaving?"
"Tonight"
"What? No, that's too soon" he shakes his head again "You can't leave now, specially to Sheffield"
"I know" I look down "I don't even know what's gonna happen, but I have to go" I sit back down and keep organizing my stuff
"Liza, can't you talk your mom out of it?" He asks sounding like a child
"She made up her mind" I avoid looking at him because I know I will cry and I'm sick of crying "There's nothing I can do"
...
Just like she promised, mother was knocking on my door at midnight to pick me up. The boys were at the living room when I left my room carrying my bags. They helped me out and hugged me goodbye. Ashton made me promise him I'd call everyday and Mike told me not to skip meals and sleep well. After mom closed the car's door I looked through the window to see my two best friends with tears in their eyes because once more I was leaving.
"You're gonna be fine, stop whining" She said while driving to the airport. I didn't even say a word.
"Do you see me complaining?" I speak harshly without looking at her
"Elizabeth you grew inside me, even without speaking I know you're whining. Mother always knows best, never forget" She kept driving like this was a normal daily conversation, I decided not to reply because keeping any conversation with her will give me stomach burn.
She parked the car and escorted me into the airport, making sure I wasn't running away again. Mom even waited while I did my check in and prepared to board.
"Call me when you get there" She says with a hand on my shoulder, I look her so deep in her eyes that she slowly removes her hand "I do love you, my daughter. I'm not doing this out of rage" her voice tries to convince me but I know mother far too well.
"Screw you" I wish I could spit on her face, but I'm mentally tired to cause a scandal. So I simply turn my back on her and keep walking.
I do my best not to look back and keep going, she wanted me gone so I'll make sure she won't see me again.
Inside the airplane I found my seat and sighed for the twentieth time. Soon little by little people were boarding, I mentally wished that an old lady sat next to me, don't know why, maybe after Luke I'm worn out by men and tired of making good impressions. But instead of a granny, a tall, a bit tanned, groomed asian guy sat next to me. He was wearing a Sheffield University hoody, great I'm sure I'll see him around. He was smiley and seemed to be outgoing, he glanced at me with a smile I felt too awkward to smile back.
"Hi, I'm Bobby" He says smiling again, making his already small eyes even smaller.
"Liza" I say timidly
"Is this your first time going to London?" He's American for sure, his accent isn't slightly British.
"No, I went there once with my parents when I was younger" I bite my lower lip, not feeling like talking, but he didn't give up.
"Are you visiting again?" He buckles up his belt and organizes his backpack under his seat
"Actually I'm moving for good" I cross my arms and look at his face properly. He's cute.
"Really? Is your whole family moving too?" He smiles
"No, just me. I'll be studying there" I already know where this is going, so let's just cut the small talk "Actually, I'm moving to Sheffield"
"For real? This is so cool! I go to Sheffield University" He's too hype about it, he points at his shirt and I nod "Man this is crazy, what are the odds?! Are you going to Sheffield University too?"
"Yup" I nod and watch him smile "How long have you been living there?" I ask already feeling warm to this talk. Maybe it won't be that bad, it'd be actually good to know someone before I get there.
"Two years. It's kinda of a tradition in my family, my grandpa went to Sheffield so as my dad and older brothers" Bobby explains "I've always wanted to go too" He smiles
"What's your major?"
"Law" He doesn't seem like a person to go to Law school. He's too hype and smiley. "And you?"
"English" Even though it wasn't my choice to go like this, going to Sheffield was in my plans.
We chat a bit more until we realized everyone in the flight was asleep and the lights were turned off. I was tired so I told him I'd sleep a bit, he said he has insomnia and wouldn't sleep and would watch a movie instead, I asked him to wake me up when breakfast come. As soon as I closed my eyes I fell asleep and began to dream.
First I saw a river, it was during the afternoon and the sun was shining against the water. I could see people smiling, couples walking hand in hand, fathers and sons riding bikes, mothers and daughters collecting flowers by the trees. I turn to my side and see Luke playing with our baby boy Leo. They were preparing to fly a kite, Luke was tying the string to a stick so Leo wouldn't let go easily and lose the kite.
"Hold like this, son" Luke gives the stick to Leo, who held with his lanky fingers which he got from his father.
Leo must've been around 5 years old, he was tall for his age and skinny too. His hair is so blonde that under the sun light it seems like gold. He was wearing a blue and white stripped t-shirt and jeans shorts, so was Luke. Leo's eyes were glowing because he was really happy to be here with us. When Luke and him finally put the kite up in the air Leo came running towards me
"Mummy! Mummy" He threw himself in my arms, hugging me "Look!" He points to the kite that Luke was flying high. Leo was smiling so much that made me smile
"Wow, that's nice!" I kiss his cheek
"Leo, it's really high now! Come and play!" Luke shouts and Leo immediately runs towards his father.
I brace my knees and smile feeling warm in my heart. Deep down I knew this was a dream but for a moment I allowed myself to get lost in this fantasy, this is what I wanted. Luke left Leo playing with the kite and came to sit next to me, he was breathing heavily, he must've been tired.
"Jesus, I'm old" he rested his head on my shoulder and I laughed "Babe, water please"
I glance to the bottle of water and give him. He drinks it while watching Leo play. After he drank his water he gave a proud smile.
"What an awesome son we have" He says holding my hand, I look at him and we smile at each other. In his eyes I can see the same love we used to have, that sweet deep love like the day at the beach, but somehow I looked sad to him which made him frown his brows "What's wrong?" He says running his hand over my face, apparently I was crying.
"Liza, what's wrong?" I keep looking at Luke's face but this isn't his voice, I blink twice and find myself back in the airplane beside Bobby. "Liza?" Bobby asks again touching my shoulder
I shake my head snapping back to reality.
"I'm okay, it was just a dream" I look down drying my tears. Bobby doesn't believe but decides to give me some space. I sigh squeezing my eyes while rubbing my face.
Yeah, just a fucking dream.
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Okay my people!
So, about the story I'm giving away (How to succeed in heartbreak): I will be choosing the winning author at the end of this month, August, y'all have until August 31 to send the chapter okay? So far I've received 1 chapter, if anyone send this one person will get the story, seriously.
It took me a lifetime to write this and I'm sorry, things will be better from now on. Please support my new story W I L D!!
See y'all next time.
