Love, Dad

4. Again Today

Apparently my alarm didn't go off. Or I slept through it. Either way, I could tell that the sun had been high in the sky for quite some time when I finally opened my eyes and realized that I'd been asleep for a long while. Probably because I'd had such trouble getting to sleep last night. I could hear the sound of laughter coming from the dining room—down the hall and down the stairs. Strong, vivacious, full of life. The part that surprised me was that I could've sworn it was dad. Clawing my way out of the covers, I slid onto my feet and grabbed my boxers before getting dressed and throwing my door open to head towards the sound.

When he laughed again I knew that I hadn't dreamed it. It was a lovely noise, one that gave me a shocking sensation of hope. I hurried to it, gravitated to it, praying that I would find him in better health somehow. Then I rounded the corner and saw that he looked very much the same. Well, not exactly. He was still withered and planted in his wheelchair, but his eyes were alight, and the smile that gripped him from ear to ear looked like it might tear him in two. Then I spotted Caiti over at the sink, washing dishes. When I realized she wasn't the one making him laugh so hardily, I came further into the room, confused. That was when I saw Levi.

"Good morning, princess." He was the first to take notice of me, popping a grape into his mouth and smiling while his lips stuck out from the fruit.

"Good morning. What are you doing here?" I only wasted a moment on the trite formalities before pulling out a chair and getting straight to the point.

"Levi was just telling Caiti here the story of when we went out west," dad tried to bring me up to speed, but it was difficult for him between his sniggering, "remember? When the camel spat on you." The three of them laughed, and I relented and allowed myself a moment to enjoy the recollection. That was the summer before we started tenth grade, when Levi had went with me and dad on vacation.

"I didn't think you guys were ever going to let me live that down." Playfully, I buried my face in my hands and started laughing harder.

"You didn't." Dad chimed, reminding me that it still hung over my head. The laughter continued for a good long while after that, with more stories coming up. Dad was fond of a distant past, dragging out old memories, like when Levi and I had snuck out in seventh grade to play some game with the other kids in the graveyard. We were the only ones who got caught when the cops showed up. Well, I was. Levi could've run off, but he stayed with me so that I wouldn't be reprimanded alone. They went back and forth—Levi and dad. I didn't share any stories, and even though the past might've hurt to recall, I was glad to see the glow in dad's eyes.

"Are you ready to go?" Levi finally asked after they were done traveling through our history.

"Go? Go where?" That confused me, and even though I didn't understand I still found myself rising to my feet.

"The movies." He said it matter-of-factly, wrinkling up his face and turning away from me to leave. Though I was sure that I had rejected him last night, he clearly had either missed that or chose to ignore it completely. Regardless, I didn't tell him no now, choosing to instead go over to dad and give him a kiss before following closely behind my old friend. So close that I could smell him. That was something else that hadn't changed, and for that I was actually glad. Levi still smelled the exact way that I remembered. It was nice, a smell that always felt like—what?

What did that smell feel like? Home? No. I would not let this happen again today. Today we were just friends, today he was to me what I was to him. I slowed down so that he was several paces in front of me, and then continued on my way. He held the door for me, of course, always the gentleman. I didn't wait for him to do the same when we got to the truck, opting instead to climb up myself before clicking the seatbelt into place. I watched him curve around the hood on his way to his seat, the way the sun glinted off his hair, highlighted the soft skin on his thin face. Too far. As I realized I was doing it again, I looked down at my lap and stayed patiently while he got in.