BABYGIRL | joyri

goodbye, first love

i watch you walk down the isle with your father, and i watch sungjae's face break out into a smile when he sees you, i listen through the vows and watch you kiss your husband. everyone claps, even me.

i remind myself of the life waiting for me in seoul and it makes me put in a little more effort into being happy considering this is the last time we'll ever meet.

at the after party i watch you dance with him and laugh with your friend, and then i watch anxiously as you walk over to me with a soft smile.

"yerim, you came after all! i heard you're moving to seoul with soohyeon."

she says it as if it doesn't upset her in the slightest but
i definitely heard her voice waver when she said soohyeon's name.

"yeah," i smile meekly, "congratulations, you look beautiful."

she thanks me and talk about university and the shopping centres in seoul, and i keep asking her questions because i want to make the most of this, i want our last moments to be happy.

"i'm going to miss you,"
she breathes out,
"i hope you like seoul, it's got lots to offer."

"yeah- um, i'll- miss you too."

i curse myself mentally for how my voice cracked and
for the way my tears blurred my vision.

but sooyoung doesn't mind too much, instead she hugs me tightly and pets my hair so i breathe out and make the most of it.

"i love you."

i whisper softly,
and i can feel her smile against my skin.

"i love you too."

- and with that we parted ways.

a week later i was in seoul with soohyeon and we were too preoccupied un-packing to even speak of the wedding, i don't think either of us wanted to speak of it either.

i tell myself that i'm going to move on and work hard for the next few years.