The Chocolate Boy (Book One)

Chapter 17 : Almond Flares

New cover made by yours truly! Do you like it? Let me know cause I love it!

That cupcake looks so fucking adorable that I'm going to adopt it!!!

Sorry, I got too foodietional 😅

My eyes widened at what she said. I wanted to say so many things at once but couldn't manage to do anything more than just open and close my mouth several times.

"Want to say something?"

Bloody hell, YEAH!

But.... No. This couldn't be happening. I tried so much.... I tried so hard to hide myself. How could all those efforts go in vain?

"What - what are you talking about?" I struggled to keep myself from breaking down.

No, no. I wasn't gay. This can't be happening.

I watched as an evil smirk spread on Tuhina's face. "Did you just stutter?"

Oh fuck.

Shit.

Damn it.

I'm doomed.

I flinched as I felt Tuhina touching my shoulder. She was going to hate me. She was going to -

"It's cool though."

"No, it's not. I'm not gay. I've never been gay and I'll never be gay."

"We both know that's not true."

Her voice was firm. It was hard to argue her when she used that tone. And it was even harder to think about the fact that how far the others knew if my sister knew so much.

"Hey," she nudged me.

"No," I shook my head making a last, weak attempt that would go in vain.

"I'm not gay."

My eyes welled up with tears and I blinked them back as I said those words. It killed me everytime I denied myself.

All those memories came back. The memories of the days spent with my favourite person in the world, would come back and leave me wanting for more. And I would go on brooding over the fact why he couldn't be with me a little longer. He was the only person who knew I was gay and made me understand that it was totally normal even though people around me saw it differently. He was the only person to whom I had no inhibitions in expressing myself. The only person whom I had trusted more than anyone else.

I had been happier when I had father. I had been a better person when he was there. He had told me to be myself and never change for anyone.

But obviously, I had been a disappointment. Like to everyone else, I'd been a disappointment to my father. Accepting the fact that I was gay after three years of denying it would mean more guilt and regret. More failure. More disapproval.

"Stop." I was startled at Tuhina's voice. I thought she had gone away. What was she still doing here?

"Stop it, Tuhin. You're hurting yourself. Stop over thinking it. It's okay to be gay."

I knew that she knew it and nothing I say would change her opinion. It would be pointless to argue with her.

"Does everyone know that?" I asked, not quite sure if I wanted to hear the answer I dreaded so much.

"Everyone? Mane? (What do you mean?) "

"At school? Tuition? Ma?" my voice quivered at the end. What would I even tell Ma? Would she throw me out of the house? Would she cut off every ties with me? Would she refuse to acknowledge me as her son?