The Dancer

14

Nicolae rode in the back of the ambulance with me while the others waited with the police for a tow truck. While the paramedics wouldn't tell me anything, they didn't seem to be too concerned. They weren't harping over me. It did ease my stress a little, but not entirely. They made it seem like they were taking me to the hospital just to be on the safe side.

It didn't take long for us to arrive at the hospital which I was thankful for. The back of the ambulance smelled sterile and it was freezing cold. I had no idea why it was that cold and I couldn't stop myself from shivering. The hospital wasn't much better.

I had always hated hospitals. I hated taking my father there. The waits were ridiculous and they smelled terrible. The atmosphere was always heavy and everyone that worked in hospitals seemed stressed out. I doubted the patients were any happier, but nurses and doctors seemed to run around, sometimes frantic.

The paramedics wheeled me out of the ambulance and through an automatic sliding door. I was pushed into a private room which caught me off guard. Any time I had been in an ER it was crowded and rooms were for people staying long term. I was shocked by the privacy we were given. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing.

"How do you feel?" Nicolae asked as he sat in a chair next to me.

"I think I feel okay."

The paramedic checked my IV before leaving the room and letting a nurse take over.

"Holland Cuza?" The nurse asked.

"Yeah."

"How are you feeling? Any pain anywhere?"

She started to wrap something around my arm to take my blood pressure.

"I think I feel okay. No pain yet."

"Sounds like you two were in a pretty nasty accident. You're pregnant?"

"Yeah, I think so. I took two tests."

"We can do a quick test here too just to confirm. What was the first day of your last period?"

Shit. I had no idea. It had been awhile since I had one.

"Um, I don't know the exact date. It's pretty irregular."

"Have you always had issues with regularity?"

Not exactly something I wanted to discuss with Nicolae, but it certainly wouldn't be the last time he heard about it.

"I'm a ballet dancer. I started really late and it's never been on a monthly schedule."

"Okay. About how often do you have a period?"

"Maybe every other month. Sometimes it's every month, but that's usually off season."

She nodded as she took down all the information.

"Mind if I draw some blood? It'll be a more accurate test."

"That's fine."

The nurse finished taking her samples and looking me over before leaving us alone again.

I chewed on my lip as we sat in silence. I didn't want to ask the question, but I had to know.

"What was he talking about?" I asked quietly.

"This is not the time or place, Holland," Nicolae said firmly.

I knew damn well that meant he wasn't talking.

"I have a right to know."

"And I will tell you, but not here."

"Here is as good a place as any," I pushed.

His dark eyes locked on me, but his expression gave nothing away. I knew damn well if Nicolae didn't want me to know something, I wasn't going to know it.

"Your father is alive," he said calmly.

It took everything in me to not leap out of the damn bed and slap him. I might not have seen my father die, but I saw him at the funeral.

I shook my head. "I saw him."

"You did, but it was for show. He was never sick. I will not go into detail, but your father uncovered something and a very powerful individual slowly poisoned him over the years to make it look like he had a disease. When he found out that he wasn't sick, he faked his death."

I wiped the silent tears from my cheeks and fixed my eyes on the heart monitor. "Does Carol know?"

"She found the paper trail ordering his death and eventually realized what happened. That's why we were sent to take care of the issue."

"But does she know he's alive? Has she seen him?"

"She knows he's alive. She hasn't had any contact though."

I shook my head. "I can't believe you knew all this time and you didn't tell me."

"It would have blown my cover," he defended.

"I understand that," I ground out. "But we've been on the road for almost two days. You could have told me at any point."

"I was going to tell you."

"When?" I demanded.

"He's waiting in Russia. I planned to tell you after the extraction."

I wrapped my arms around myself. I understood why he didn't tell me sooner, but it didn't make it any easier to accept. I went months believing my father was dead. If Carol hadn't uncovered whatever she had, I wondered if my father was ever going to let me know he was alive. Had he planned to just start a new life in Russia and forget about us? Was he going to somehow coax us over there and surprise us by being alive? The questions and anger coursing through me were not directed at Nicolae because he didn't have answers and he hadn't earned my anger. I knew if I kept talking to him though that I would get angry with him and that was something I didn't need. I had enough other shit to be mad about and Nicolae was low on my priority list.

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Whaaaaaat I updated??

I know, I know. Even though I wrote it on my message board awhile ago, I'll post what happened here too.

So, as many of you know, I found out I was pregnant May 2016. I had a bit of a rough pregnancy towards the end, but ended up delivering on February 21, 2017. I had some complications with delivery and my son's heart rate started to drop drastically. They through it was because I had been in labor so long, but when he came out and the cord was cut he immediately turned blue/gray. They thought it was his lungs, but it ended up being a life threatening heart defect called dextro transposition of the great arteries. His aorta and pulmonary artery were reversed when his heart was forming at about 4 weeks gestation and it was never picked up on ultrasounds. In short, his body wasn't receiving oxygen-rich blood which is obviously not compatible with life. At 7 hours old he had a cardiac catheterization to open a hole in his heart and he was started on medication to keep a valve open that is supposed to close shortly after birth. At 3 days old he had a 15 hour open heart surgery to correct the defects. We spent about a month in the NICU at our local children's hospital.

My son is now 9 months old and doing amazing. We still have a million cardiology appointments on top of the regular well baby check ups. He is more prone to getting sick because they had to remove a gland over his heart that helps build the immune system, but overall you would never be able to tell he had such a crazy start to life.

So, I'm back!