Naturally

Naturally (A Jacob Black Fanfic) -32-

“Bye Mary!” Annie exclaimed, giving me one last hug. Kim gave me a shameful smile above the little girl. During the rush, she had forgotten Annie had taken refuge upstairs. “Feel better!” The little girl planted a wet kiss on my face before Kim lead her outside. Kim didn’t say anything to me, just gave me one last hopeful look before closing the door behind them.

I let the saliva linger on my skin for a second before I brought up my sleeve to my cheek to wipe it off, only to smear it some more. It didn’t bother me much, on contrary, it made me smile.

At least she gave me something to look forward to...

I hurried up the stairs to switch clothes. To give a good impression to the girls, I wore some expensive skinny jeans and a designer blazer but slowly I was being suffocated in the thick material. I shook my head. I shouldn’t have bothered buying this crap. It’s not like care anymore about first impressions seeing as I don’t make personal connections. I’m much more comfortable in lazy sweats and an oversized tee-shirt. But I didn’t pack some on this trip, unfortunately, so I settled with soft Victoria Secret gray shorts and a faded, over-washed purple loose, long sleeved throw on.

I brushed my teeth, cleansed my face, and brushed out my lazy curls until my hair fell in uneven waves that I pulled back into a messy, effortless bun. I then continued back down stairs where I stopped in the middle of the kitchen.

I was so unprepared and had no idea where to start. What the heck was I going to say? Would Jake even participate? What would he want to know? What would I want to know? Could I face the truth and the slap of the past? Was I prepared for this?

While all these doubts swirled in my head, I fetched a bottle of red wine. It was much better than dry wine. It gave a sour coating to your throat and ruined your taste buds while red wine had a rich taste that I much preferred.  Of course, I could always settle with a shot, but I’d need something slow for tonight to last me. I made sure to pour a little bit longer than I should so the glass was half full. I took a slow, long slip to savor the undiluted taste of aged grapes and set the glass down onto the counter.

Would this whole “talking” thing work?

My mind slipped back to a few years ago to a different scene, in a different kitchen.

The own generic granite was faded and chipping but that didn’t stop me from supporting myself on it. My hands needed to grab something before my legs collapsed on me. Everything hurt within me. My heart was heavy and sore, just like my stomach from all the sobbing I’ve done in the past hour. My head was the worst to experience pain, as the growing ache gnawed at everything it could. The back of my neck had a pitiful pinch from the recent fall on the hard wood floors.

Jake had yet to arrive but Billy let me in to wait which I appreciated. The cold was brutal and I didn’t need that to be added on “the crappy factors of today” list I’ve made since that morning. Billy tried to check up on me a few times but the old man need some sleep so I brought him upstairs to his bed, despite his hellish state. I will never forget the look he gave me. He felt so sorry for me and yearned to wipe my face of tears I refused to shed around his presence. He didn’t need to worry about my issues. I wouldn’t let him get mixed up in my mess.

Minutes after so, I found myself trembling in pain, leaning again the counter just to stand when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball. I locked my teeth together to hold back a cry of pain when I felt the inevitable snap happen in my back. I was given no choice but collapse on the weary tile floor. My breathing became haggard, trying to control my volume as the pain increased. I would not cry, I would not cry, I would not cry, I tried to convince myself but easier said than done.