I Am A Boy!

Chapter 7

Delirious' P.O.V.

I've always had smooth, soft skin. It was like a newborn baby's. I hate it. I want hard muscles and healing scabs. I spent all of my fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth grade working on that. I had to stop when I had to be sent to the hospital for working out to hard.

I remember that day as if it was happening. It was an overly warm day in my hometown. I had thrown up more times than healthy. I pushed myself to work harder than ever. Luke came out around 9am, 4 hours after I had started, and witnessed me puke. I had been throwing up blood for the last thirty minutes but it was different that time. I couldn't stop.

I metallic taste was all I seemed to know as the world grew more blurrier. This is when time seemed to move impossibly fast. My heart beat irregularly and my breath came out heavy. Luke was screaming but it sounded so distant. It felt like weights were placed on my lungs, someone was squeezing my throat, and I was sweating like I was being roasted alive. I then passed out. I would've died too but Luke was there.

Standing in Tyler's room with Mini and Tyler felt like that. The heavy weights had placed on my lungs, someone had reached into me and was squeezing my throat, and I felt like a witch who was being burned at the stake. I shook all the bad thoughts away.

       "Mini told me something today," Tyler started and I swallowed hard. "You are a transgender." The words felt like bullets, each one hitting me hard. They hurt entering but I know it was going to hurt more later when it came out just like a bullet.

    "Take off your hoodie," Tyler demanded after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

      "No," I answered. My voice shook with uncertainty.

     "Do it or I'll tell everyone," Tyler said slightly rougher. He stood up straighter, pulling himself to his full height. I grabbed my zipper and pulled it down. I shimmed out of my comfort object. I took a deep breath as Tyler eyed my chest.

       "Take your mask off," Tyler said. I opened my mouth to object but I closed it and reached up behind my head. My arms felt heavy as I began to undo the three knots in the back. My mask fell to the floor. Even with my pixie cut, there was no denying I was a girl. I was a girl. I was not a boy. I was never a boy.

~

     I lay in my tear stained bed. The thought of self harm ran through my head but I ignored it. It would just complicate things. I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was a quarter passed three in the morning. I unlocked my phone for the hundredth time that night and opened up Evan's messages. Finally, I have in and texted him.

D - Hey

E - you're up too?!

D - no...

E - Lair XD

D - Hey Ev, I'm confused...

E - I'm listening

D - just...never mind

E - it helps to talk about it

E - You still there?

E - goodnight I guess

D - am a I boy?

E - of course

D - Even though I have periods?

E - Yes

D - and boobs?

E - Yes

D - I'm scared

E - I'm here

D - I just told you something really personal and we just met...

D - I feel really awkward about it

E - I'll share something about me then we'll be even

D - Okay :)

E - I killed my sister

D - Woah...

E - It's complicated

E - She was a baby when it happened and I was ten. I looked at her smile and I just wanted her to never smile again. I snuck into my parents room and killed her when she was three months old. I went to the luny bin for a while.

D - I was almost raped

D - by my sisters boyfriend. I was so scared and I knocked him out.

E - I was homeless for two months once

D - I used to climb into my sisters bed in the middle of the night and wake her up. We'd climb out her window and look at the stars. When I told her I was trans, we stopped

E - When Lui told me he was gay, I called him a fag and cancer. I feel really bad about it even though he has forgiven me

D - I've always wanted to be a Daddy. The kinky kind

E - I've always wanted to spanked and manhandled

D - I have sent a nude once

E - I'm tired

D - Goodnight

E - Night

  I rolled over feeling much lighter. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Tomorrow was going to be a good day thanks to Evan.

Boy was I wrong...