Jamal POV

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I sat in the studio notebook in hand, and pencil in the other. I stared at the blank white pages, trying to hope for a song idea to pop up, but nothing was coming to mind. "Fuck" I said under my breath, annoyance deeply embedded in it. I sighed, then dropped the notebook and utensil down on the seat beside me. I dropped my head into my hands frustrated. It's been like this for the past week now. I haven't been able to write a single song, nothing comes into my head, honestly it's like my mind is in a mush.

I know the reason for this of course. I'm not an idiot.

Me and Hakeem haven't spoken to each other since last week. We barely even look at each other unless other people are in the room, then we pretend that everything is cool. I made it this way, I know I did. After whispering to him in the studio that day, Hakeem went to find me to figure out why I was doing this. I only ignored him and told him to go away.

It's better this way . We can't do this. We can't do that again. We're brothers for fucks sake. If I push him away then things won't escalate further. I won't deny that this hurts me, because it does. The way he touched me, the way he kissed me...it sent electricity all through out my body, I felt light headed, like I was in a dream. But what we have isn't natural, and this is reality, it won't end well if we continue down this dangerous path. We'll both be hurt....and so will our reputations. I'm doing the right thing.

I am. I am doing the right thing.

I say this but...why am I crying? I wipe my face as the hot tears trail down my face, like streaming rivers. I keep rubbing them away, but they just keep coming. "God I'm such a little bitch..." I sobbed.

"Jamal...what happened?" I heard a voice say.

TO BE CONTINUED

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