My Selfish Desire

Ten~Baz

Usually, it delighted me to see Snow outraged. He'd usually get a bit pissy and throw a foul name or two my direction, but then he'd be back to his happy or bored way of stalking me. This, however, was quite different.
Simon threw his books across the room first, making sure each was not-so-carefully laying on the floor. His face was glowing crimson, a sharp contrast to an enraged halo of amber curls. He swore, punching the wall and eventually his own wardrobe. Thick, choking smoke filled the room within seconds; a sure sign I should leave or at least open a window.
But me, not thinking once again (I blame the smoke to this day), thought it would be a good idea to poke the raging bear with a twig. "I've gathered your day's been a bright one."
He turned a searing gaze towards me, but seemed to remember I did nothing and eased his wrath. "Fuck off."
"Not with you in the room I won't."
"I'm not in the joking mood, Baz." Simon threatened.
A smile almost forced itself onto my lips when he growled my name. A more disturbed part of my mind wanted to hear him scream the entirety of it in pain. (Crowley, I'm absolutely horrible with such strange fetishes.)
"You don't have to be. And don't go spilling your innards to me about whatever's got your pants in a knot. I'm no shrink."
"I hate you." He seemed a bit calmer, but I had no idea why. Was I helping?
"Tell me something new."
Simon's face turned away. "Agatha decided she doesn't want to fix our relationship."
A cruel joy engulfed my being. He was single most likely for good. Wellbelove didn't want  a thing to do with Simon Snow. I had a chance.

I have a chance. I can have him to myself. He'll be my Simon once and for all.

"Really."
He turned his gaze back toward me. His face wasn't as red as it had been.
"Yeah." Simon no longer sounded enraged, and seemed almost pathetic. (More than usual, I mean.)
"Hm."
"Hm?"
"Suppose we're on the same boat, aren't we?"
His brow furrowed in confusion. "How?"
I met his eyes, almost instantly becoming drunk on the deep blues and the few soft whites from the light.
"We're both on the bottom of the pit. You've practically skydived into my lobby and left a huge hole in the ceiling, Snow. Crowley! Look at the mess on the carpet!"
He lit up, a strangely joyful smile melting away what anger lingered on his face. A brief laugh exposed itself and danced across the space between us.
There was no choice but to smile myself. It was strange. I wasn't used to smiling around Simon, let alone make him this happy.
"Fuck your carpet!" he laughed.
It was contagious now. I was about to start up soon too.
"You know how much it cost?!"
"How much?"
"Nothing at all. I got it for free."
The grin that was making my day into a dream brightened.
"Thumping idiot."
"Bloody twat."
"Crusty dragon."
"Cheeky little bastard." I stood.
"You're a mad man." He chuckled.
"Snow." I couldn't stop.
"Baz."
"Simon.." Inches. Only inches.
"Baz..?"He became quiet, looking up at me.
"Simon..."
The world of solid lines blurred. Everything became hot and all I felt was his heartbeat. He was so alive.
And for once, Simon Snow was mine. In my arms, holding my tie to keep me at his level.

Kissing me back.