OXYGEN

39 - Dreamlike State

"So," I murmured, curled up beside Forrest. We were on my bed again, lying down comfortably. With my head in the crook of his neck and my arm wrapped over his chest, I felt completely at ease. The fervor that had ignited my bones was now subdued, and I was left in a dreamlike state. "What now?"

Absentmindedly, his index finger drew circles on my arm, steady and smooth. I felt his voice wash over me. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "This is the first time something like this has ever happened."

"What – kissing a girl you saved from dying? That doesn't happen to you often?"

I could imagine him rolling his eyes. "Actually, you're, like, the fourth one." I smiled, enjoying how he was able to throw sarcasm back to me. "But seriously, I don't usually kiss just anyone, and we literally only met earlier this week."

"Sorry I'm so irresistible," I mumbled before getting serious. "But do you regret it? Be honest."

Forrest took a few seconds before saying, "No. I don't. I mean, that was . . . a pretty good kiss."

"Pretty good?" I repeated, sounding offended. "And here I thought it was the best one I ever had."

"Really?" I could hear how flattered he was and almost sighed. "Then . . . you're welcome."

I slapped his chest as he laughed. "You're unbelievable, Forrest. God knows why I have feelings for you."

"So you admit it, huh?"

"Oh, no, I usually kiss guys I dislike." I scoffed. "Of course I have feelings for you."

"Hmm," I could tell he was smiling, "when did they start?"

That was a good question. Was it right before our lips touched?

Or was it days ago, when he ordered me a hot chocolate and pancakes at Vienna? Was it when he let me in his home and introduced me to his sister? Or how about when he took me to see dogs in hopes of cheering me up – or the time he gave a homeless man thirty dollars and precious joy? Did I start to fall when he told me not to be mean to myself – or that I was much more than my problems – or that I mattered?

"Okay," I finally said, "I think the question should be: when did they not start?"

It was clear now that I had been doomed from the very beginning – right when he hauled me out the water. The moment I gave him a chance to prove that life was worth living was the moment I gave him a chance to reach into me, a chance to graze my heart before ultimately stealing it. There weren't many people who could do what he did, and I doubted I would ever meet another guy like him again.

"I guess I'm just that charming, huh," Forrest remarked, and I really had the hardest time believing his modesty. "Anyway, I usually take a girl out before, uh, you know, getting physical so this is pretty unorthodox for me." Of course Forrest would be the type to say getting physical. Of course.

"Haven't we gone out already, though?" I lost count of how many places he took me – and that was just over the course of one day.

"But none of those were real, proper dates." I already saw where this was going. "So how about I take you out? Next Saturday night – I'll pick you up at seven."

"All right, sure." Excitement began to simmer in the pit of my stomach. "No problem." I closed my eyes, savoring the seconds. Maybe I could have stayed there with him forever, and I wouldn't have minded. "But wait, what should I wear?"

"Preferably a dress," he said, and I scrunched my face up. "I wonder how you look like in one."

"Not that great," I said truthfully. I had grown tired of them, disliking the way they seemed to always accentuate the wrong areas of my figure. The last time I bought one was probably a year ago – and it was most likely too small by now. "What kind of dress, though? Should I go all-out or just casual?"