OXYGEN

35 - Blind

"How was your day?" Forrest asked. I was sitting and watching as he moved around; there seemed to be grace radiating off him. Everything he did was fluent and diligent. I noticed the slight curve of his body, making his shoulders appear broad and strong. For a moment, I wondered just how much weight had already fallen on them and how much else he could bear before he dropped to his knees.

The water in the pot was boiling; he added a pinch of salt before throwing the fettuccine noodles in. Next, he'd gotten a saucepan and once it was hot, he dropped half of the stick of butter along with a cup of heavy cream. He gently stirred the sauce before tossing a glance at me. I almost forgot that he asked me something.

"Uh, it's been fine," I finally answered. Mentally, I said and it's better now. "I went to the music store - Electric Noise. Do you know that place? I bought an album, Drunk in Love, by Four Summers Ago."

"Oh! I like that band, but I haven't listened to them in a while. I'm surprised you're into them," he said. "What song of theirs is your favorite?"

"Actually," I paused, William's face coming to my mind, "they were just recommended to me, and I decided to try it out. I'm not done listening to the entire album, but they're pretty good so far." I came across an idea. "Hey, I can go play it right now if you want. There's a radio over there," I gestured, and although he didn't give a response yet, I already stood up, ready to get it.

"Yeah, sure," Forrest replied. Minutes later, the vivid music began to play. I decided to skip to the sixth song, titled Back to September.

Let's jump back to September, yeah, I saw you standing there by the ocean and you electrified me in slow motion. Now, I don't drink coffee because it reminds me of your eyes and I'm trying to understand why everything I touch dies. Take me back to September when things were simple and things were sweet. Let's jump back to September when I didn't need you to feel complete.

I furrowed my brows, digesting the words. How could a song so upbeat be so gloomy too? I waited, but Forrest didn't make any remarks about it. He just started softly bobbing his head along to the rhythm. I sat back down, a bit glad that it wasn't so quiet anymore.

"So how about you?" I asked after I grew tired of the silence. "How was your day?"

Instead of saying anything right away, he grabbed the pepper and shook some into the sauce. "Um," he blew out a breath, "complicated, I guess."

I waited for him to say more, but he didn't. Raising a brow, I wondered out loud, "Is that all you want to say?"

"Well," he hesitated, and then suddenly turned to me. He set the wooden spoon down, temporarily abandoning his cooking. "Actually, let me ask you this: have you ever been in love, June?"

I blinked. "What?" I replied dumbly. For some reason, the question threw my heart into the walls of my chest - back and forth, back and forth. I could feel it pounding.

"Have you ever been in love?" he repeated. His eyes were on me, but his mind, I felt, was somewhere else. "So madly and stupidly in love that you end up giving everything you have to that person - even if he didn't ask for it. You focus so much on him, and you do whatever you can to make him happy - but you forget about yourself. You forget that you don't need him, and he doesn't need you, and you forget that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't deserve you in the first place." He opened his mouth to say more, but then shut it quickly - as if he just came to an important realization. Finally, he tore his gaze away from me and turned back to the stove.

My heartbeat was infuriatingly fast. I digested his words, and knew that he was talking about another girl. Before I could reply, he continued. "I don't understand how love can make you so blind. While your head is in the clouds, he's taking away the sun. While you wear your heart on your sleeve, he tears it. It's stupid how both of you can't see." At this point, it seemed like he forgot I was here. But he heaved a sigh and acknowledged my presence, saying, "Um . . . I'm sorry, June. If you couldn't tell, I know someone who's dating this idiot. A pointless relationship, in my opinion. She had some trouble with him today, and I had to step in, and yeah, it never fails to frustrate me. I shouldn't even be involved at all, but . . ." he trailed off, and it was now my turn to speak.

"Did she go to our school?" It was the first question I could articulate - but there were more in my mind, getting louder and louder as the seconds passed. And what about you, Forrest? Have you ever been in love? Why does this bother you so much?

"Yeah," he answered, "but you know what?" He gave a small smile, and it was quite forced. "Don't worry about it. I don't even want to think about it anymore. I just want to enjoy right now."

I nodded hesitantly. "Okay," I murmured, but my unsaid questions were still raging inside. I decided to change the topic. "How is Ivy doing?"

"Ivy? She's fine. Needs more friends, but she swears she's happy being with her laptop." My lips stretched into a smile. "One time, she even told me that her bed is the love of her life, and they belong together." I had to laugh at that - I could imagine Ivy actually meaning it. "Oh, and she asked me when you'll be back at our place. I think she misses you."

My heart melted. "I miss her too," I admitted. "And, uh, it's up to you. I'm free whenever."

"Hmm," Forrest stole a moment to think, "so basically, you're not doing anything tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm not," I confirmed, "As you can see, I have a very busy social life. I'm always out, doing something. People can't get enough of me."

He threw a smile - heavy with pity - at my sarcasm. "June, I have a question for you."

I raised my brows in surprise and straightened up. I knew it had to be a bit more serious since he had to announce it rather than simply saying it. "Yes?"

"Do you . . . Okay, I don't mean any harm here, and I've just been wondering, but . . ."

Once he said the rest of his question, a funny feeling shot through me.